ghost of you ; l.h

lipstick stain;

annabelle's coffee cup is sitting right where she left it, when she left me, the only thing she left me is her coffee cup, her lipstick stain and her memory and left me wondering why, why did she do this.

i don't feel fine, i'm not fine, i can't continue on without her, i can barely eat and sleep, when i do sleep, i dream about her, i dream about her telling me everything will be just fine but when i wake up and she's not on her side of the bed, i know it's not fine.
now here i am, staring at her coffee cup, at her red lipstick stain, that she left on her coffee cup made to look like a cat that she drank her tea out of every morning.
i cant bring myself to move the cup, or wash it. it's the one thing i feel i have of hers.
everyday i think maybe this is a joke, maybe she isn't really gone, she was too happy to do this.
she was such a bright light in a world full of darkness.
that's what hurts me the most, why was she struggling so much to the point where she couldn't take it, why didn't she come to me, i could have helped her. i could have been there for her.

i was there for her, she just never struggled.

well i thought she never struggled.