phone sex"

033: this is all a joke, right?

It's been about a week and three days since the boys got to Maryland. Chan was having fun, too. They got to go to other places like New York and Chicago just to hang out but it was for about two days each. After that, they just settled down in Maryland, hanging out with each other and drinking and playing random games.

Chan wasn't sure when they'd go back because he didn't buy round trip tickets and his parents said to stay as long as he wanted. The others didn't complain much either because they've been having fun.

However, the male has been seeing some decrease of interest in his boyfriend ever since they came back from Chicago. And it bothered him a hell of a lot. Every time he'd confront him, Junhui would shrug him off or tell him nothing's going on. But it just didn't seem right or real, and it bothered Chan to see something like this. He's talked to Jihoon about it, too. Jihoon's also confront Junhui but Junhui gives the same half assed reply. It makes Chan's heart hurt.

After a while, Chan realizes he can't take it. So he sits Junhui down while he forced everyone to go out so the two can finally talk alone. That's exactly what happened, he and Junhui sitting next to each other, Chan gripping Junhui's hands so tight, his own knuckles are turning white.

"Baobei," Junhui's voice snaps Chan out of his trance. "What did you want to talk about?"

Chan swallows hard, opening his mouth and praying his voice won't crack. "Us. We need to talk about us,"

"What's wrong with us?"

"You seem... too distant lately."

Junhui cracks a soft smile and shakes his head. Chan's heart is doing summersaults and his stomach is just full of butterflies. "Baby, I told you nothing's wrong." Junhui whispers again, intertwining their fingers. He even rubs the back of Chan's hand with his thumb.

"But it doesn't seem that way," the younger argues. He leans forward just a bit, tightening his grip on his boyfriend's hand. "Junhui, baby, you love me right?" Junhui nods. "Then tell me the truth. Why do I have to sit here listening to your lies when I know you're completely uneasy? Did something happen in Chicago? Did I do something wrong?" Chan was crying now and his breath hitches.

Junhui takes a deep breath, "Fine... I... I don't think I love you anymore." Everything starts spinning. "At the beginning it was so lovey dovey and then... later on I just felt... like I only wanted you for sex. I only craved your body and... god even while we fucked at the beach it was like that. I think that's where it all started. And then you got more attached and shit... I felt like it was all too much. I didn't—I couldn't love you anymore."

Chan blinks. This was all fake right? This was just a prank, it just had to be. They lasted at least half of the year so why would this happen now? Why? Why did it have to happen when he flew all the way from across the country to see his boyfriend?

"The calling you thing wasn't even supposed to lead to this. It was supposed to be just some stupid thing I'd do just three times but you texted me and I... I didn't stop it when I knew I should have." Junhui continues. He looks down at their hands, unable to maintain eye contact. "I don't deserve to be with you at all," his voice cracks and Chan feels a teardrop on his hand. "We can't keep this up—I can't let you love me while all I want is your body—"

"Then take it," Chan cries out. Junhui looks up, confused and with tears streaming down his face just like Chan. "Wha—"

"Take it," Junhui gets cut off. "Take my body, use me just for sex, I don't care, but don't fucking leave me." Chan's grip is tighter and he starts to cry harder. "I can love you this way, I'm okay with that."

"No, that's not—"

There's a click and the sound of the door opening. "Hey, we came back early because we—" Chan pulls himself back and faces the window, wiping his tears in attempt to not let any one of his friends see him crying. Junhui does the same, wiping his eyes and sniffling as he stands.