phone sex"

035: i won't stop loving you.

"—Chan," Jihoon calls, snapping his fingers. Chan shakes his head, stepping back into reality. He stares at his best friend, the male handing him his banana. "Are you okay?"

The younger nods and starts to peel the fruit. "Yeah," he mumbles. "Yeah, I think I'm okay." There's a slight pause. "Wonwoo... Wonwoo called me last night while we were at the beach."

Jihoon looks up from his chicken sandwich. "What'd he say?"

"He just... checked up on me and stuff. He said a couple of things about Junhui..." Jihoon's jaw clenches and he reaches for his best friend's hand. "Don't think of him, Chan." He whispers. Chan nods, but the tears are already falling. "I—I just... I don't get why he's in so much pain if he stopped loving me in the first place..." Jihoon frowns, setting down his sandwich and pulling the younger into a tight hug. Chan hugs back, sobbing softly.

"Hey," Jeonghan sighs. He sits across the two, his face twisting in worry as Seungcheol sits besides Chan. "Still not over it?" Jeonghan frowns. He reaches over the table to stroke Chan's hair.

Seungcheol pats his back, "His first love, Hannie." Chan pulls away from his best friend. He wipes his tears and picks up the banana from Jihoon's tray. He sadly starts to eat it and Jihoon strokes his hair.

*

It's been about a week since Chan's gone back to school. It was tiring as shit going to school depressed and coming back even more depressed. He hated it all. He hated the stupid breakdowns he'd have in the middle of class, he hated having a lack of appetite, he hated almost crying everyone tried to strike up a conversation with him. Every time it happened, he'd call his mom or dad and go home. It hurt so much, and Chan just wants to go back to independent study. At least then, he was able to cry in the comfort of his room and get stuff done.

It was good it was Saturday though. Chan's been exhausted so he stayed in his room. He was playing with his hands, just waking up from a nap that a breakdown put him into. It was bad. He heard the doorbell ring, but Kihyun was home, so he let him get it. And he did, Chan listening to his soft footsteps hit each step of the stairs. He sighs, flipping to lay on his other side. Soon enough, he hears the Kihyun walk back up. He expects him to go back to his room, but instead, he opens the door to Chan's room.

"Hey, someone's here for you." Kihyun's voice was soft and gentle, but Chan could still make out the annoyance in his voice. He was probably doing something before he answered the door. Chan nods and sits up. He wipes his eyes and stands from his bed. Kihyun blocks the doorway before Chan can make it through, though.

"If you don't want to talk to him, just close the door. Don't force yourself," Kihyun whispers. Chan raises a brow but nods anyways. He walks down the stairs with Kihyun following.

Chan makes it to the bottom of the stairs and glances at the front door. His eyes widen and it feels like all the air in his lungs just evaporated. He steps closer, tears already flowing. "J-Junhui..."

Junhui looks up from his hands, swallowing hard when he sees Chan. "H-Hey," he stutters. His voice was trembling and raspy, much different than what Chan was so used to. Chan looked him up and down, too. He looked far worse than Chan did, bandages all over his armsand hands, much thinner than before, and a couple of cuts and bruises on his arms and face. Chan noticed the bruise on his cheek and the cuts on his chest as well. He scratches his arm nervously. "I... I just... I shouldn't have... came, I'm sorry." He mumbles and tries to turn away but Chan stops him, grabbing his hand. However, he quickly lets go.

"Tell me... Tell me why you're here."

Junhui nods, facing him again. He looks at Kihyun for a bit before staring back at Chan. He's already starting to cry.

"Do you wanna come inside?" He becomes much softer with Junhui despite being so confused.

"N-No," Junhui quickly croaks out. He shakes his head, "No... I just wanted to say... I'm sorry. I don't want you to seem it's out of pity or anything like that either... From the bottom of my heart, I-I truly mean it. I said I stopped loving you but... that never happened. If it did, I wouldn't have... I wouldn't have cried with you. Even as I spoke, I knew I was an idiot. I was just—I was just ruining away from us, from you. I was scared of the long distance... I didn't—I hated waking up with you and not being able to hold your hand. I thought that if—" his voice cracks and he looks away, clenching his fists as his tears fall. "I thought that if I let you go, it'd be better. I wanted you to hate me so much because I didn't want to lose you later on... I made—made the mistake of risking it then instead of later... I made the mistake of—of choosing to lose you when I never wanted to. I made... I made a mistake..."

Chan looks at the older sadly. "I want you to stop loving me..." Junhui continues. "Wonwoo tells me you're not over me, so I came here to tell you you should be..."

"No," Chan mumbles. "No." He shakes his head. "I won't do it. I won't stop loving you. It's impossible to stop loving you. I don't want you running from us like you did before. I know you can overcome this. It was a mistake, but you've realized it now, haven't you? You wouldn't have came all this way if you hadn't." He grabs Junhui's hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. "So let me love you. Let me be in your life again and let me better you and me so you can live finely again. Let me be the one that shows you the light out of this misery and back where you belong: my heart."

Junhui starts to cry a little more, Chan doing he same. The taller pulls him into a tight hug, "I don't deserve you; I never did."

"No," Chan whispers, clenching onto the back of his shirt. "You did, and you still do."

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upon vernonslotion 's request i have updated!! i'm also a lil emo bc i miss my ex bsf 👇😔👇 life really sucks when you make a decision you didnt really want to do but u knew u had to