Boys Like You (BxB)

Chapter 1

Hoboken, New Jersey

The low, distant whistling of the kettle filled the almost silent house. The dimly lit dining room was a mess: the table was littered with various papers and writing materials, the small trash bin was overflowing with crumpled paper balls, pencil shavings, and food wrappers. In the middle of it all was Steven, who, at such an ungodly hour, was still awake and busy typing away at his research paper that wasn't due until next week.

It was already half past ten, and Steven repeatedly tapped his finger on the table, and he created a sound that would hopefully break the low whistle of the kettle, or that his actions would hopefully help him think of a better way to word all the ideas he had in his little head. As he removed his headphones, he continued humming the song he was listening to, and looked at the mess he was in.

He let out a sigh, and he continued to write. He typed, erased, typed and erased, but none of his ideas seemed coherent nor cohesive when he typed it onto his laptop. He swore that everything made much more sense in his head.

"Steven, honey, you're still up?"

His train of thought stopped when he heard the familiar voice and the shuffling of keys. Steven looked back  at the figure behind him and stood up from his chair. That meant only one thing: his mom was back.

"Yeah mom, just finishing up some homework for one of my AP classes," he said as he sat back down, and he felt his mom next to him, rubbing his back.

"You're doing great honey, but you need to rest, okay? You've been up late for the past three days, I'm starting to get worried about you," she said walking away from him and towards the adjoined kitchen. She noticed the empty coffee mug and instant coffee sachet next to it, the kettle whistled: the water was ready.

She grabbed another mug from the rack above the sink and a sachet by the cupboard. She poured water into both mugs and stirred in the coffee. She then brought both mugs back to the dining room and sat down next to Steven. She handed over his mug to him, and they both drank their coffee in silence.

Steven busily typed away, occasionally taking a sip from his coffee mug, and his mom was going through  various papers and monthly bills that were due in a few days time. She took out a wallet and a small notebook from her bag, and pulled out a couple of bills from her wallet, counted them, and did the math.

As soon as Steven closed his laptop and headed into the kitchen carrying his mug, he heard his mom let out a sigh. She was finished budgeting her monthly income into next month's budget. Steven walked back into the dining room and studied his mom: wrinkles around her eyes, dark circles underneath them, calloused hands from working anything she can at the diner, and her raspy, strained voice from talking all day at the call center. And he couldn't help but note that he looked exactly like his mom, only that he had more youthful, masculine features.

Steven really looked up to his mom, a single parent her entire life. Her life consisted of working and caring after Steven. Her life working two jobs (soon to become three jobs, after she finishes her certificate course in nursing) was already tiring enough, but this was the only way for her to get Steven and herself across every month.

He once asked his mom about his father, but his mom would always change the topic or speak so little about him.

He only met his father once when he was a kid, but other than that, everything about him was a complete blur. Steven sometimes wondered if his mom ever wanted to find a husband in the midst of all the jobs she's working, because at her age, she'd maybe want to settle down with someone to keep her company; but he thought that it would be better off that it would be just the two of them a little while longer.

There were so many thoughts running through Steven's head, but he thought that it would be much better if he just slept through the night. He had to wake up early to add finishing touches to his paper, and the paper was ready to be submitted the day after. His mom disappeared into the kitchen and came back out with a plate of food as Steven was swamped in his thoughts, staring at nothing in particular.

His mom looked at her son as she ate.

"So, how's school?" she asked before taking a sip from her coffee mug.

"Could be better, it's...well, it's good." Steven said pulling the sleeves of his sweater down his arms.

"Good? Nothing special?"

Oh, if only she knew the beatings I took during lunch, Steven thought as a small smile crept onto his face.

"Nothing, really... By the way, the guidance office told me there were two more colleges that sent me letters for freshman admission." Steven said, looking through the papers on the table for the admission letters. He handed over the papers to his mom, and licked his dry lips. He needed some water.

"Really? Five... no, make that seven colleges, offering you chances to study! And all of them with a scholarship! Honey, I'm so proud of you!" his mom brought him into a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

Steven could feel his chest tighten, he felt quite suffocated. "Thanks mom, but... never mind. I'll be off to bed. Good night, I love you."

Before he reached his room, he swore he heard his mom say something out loud.

"You can always talk to me, you know."

Steven sometimes wished he could be more open to his mom, or ask how her week has been. So that maybe for once in her life, all the love she put into working, all the love she showered and continued to shower Steven with, would come back to her like a boomerang.

But Steven couldn't. He just can't.