String Theory

Chapter 2

Tony Stark wishes he was dead.

It's not just a casual disinterest in living anymore. Hasn't been since the fight on Titan, when he realized that he was stranded, and everybody he cared about had disappeared before his eyes. Between his knowledge and Nebula's spare parts, they managed to get a distress signal off to Earth. After that, Nebula had to fight to keep Tony alive. Thanos had nicked Tony's heart, and though it was a small wound to the muscle itself, the continued movement had torn the muscle, and the blood loss was too much for him. Tony lost consciousness shortly thereafter. Steve Rogers had flown to Titan with a Wakandan craft, and picked the two of them up. Tony's vitals were broadcast back home, to Rhodey.

"Can't lose another friend today," Rhodey had told Okoye. "Especially not that one."

He did everything he could to prepare for the trio to return, and to give Tony the best care he could find. Not just the best in Wakanda, but the best in the world.

That meant getting ahold of Harry Hart.

Rhodes had served with Hart in a parallel military unit in 2008, and the two had become good friends. Hart had been right there with Rhodes when they'd picked Tony up in the desert after the Ten Rings, and in the month it took Tony's health to stabilize enough to return home, Harry didn't leave his side. Harry had been the only medic on-call, and had serviced Tony's reactor more intimately than anybody else could have. "Steady hands," Harry always said, smiling. "Steady hands, steady heart. The two go together." Hart's obsession with butterflies was endearing, and before Tony left, he gave Tony a small, embroidered butterfly. The backing cloth was from his uniform, but the embroidery thread was an exotic, silky blue. This turned out to be the only lasting memento Tony would have of him, besides a few pictures.

A few months after Tony returned home, Harry was declared dead.

Tony visited Harry's grave often, but Rhodes never did. The death had been a cover for the transition from soldier to Kingsman. Tony never found out, but Rhodes knew. So, Rhodes was just a little shocked to find Harry's signal within five minutes of looking, despite his clandestine nature. Maybe it was because Harry was already lingering around on Tony's frequency, looking for him, or maybe Harry had already been reaching out to Rhodes. Either way, Harry came when he was called.

They had to put the reactor back in. Tony's heart simply wouldn't continue without the power source. There was no shrapnel to stop— no constant, tangible threat inside him, besides the tear to the heart's muscle. That, coupled with the will to live, and there was no other choice but to put it back. Hart had been just as careful with the re-implantation of the reactor as he had been the first time around. He was just an army surgeon, and his medic's license was well past expired. Shuri, who had been looking on, commented that there were much more qualified people to do the job.

"Steady hands, steady heart," Rhodey said. As soon as the procedure was done, Harry left.

It's been two months since Tony woke up in the hospital, too exhausted to cry, and too traumatized to even dispute the all-too-familiar purring of the reactor in his chest.

He shouldn't be alive. But he is, and he hates every fucking second of it.

Peter's funeral was quiet. The coffin was child-sized, and empty. Tony had stood well away from Peter's friend group, and from May; May, who would never forgive him for what had happened to her boy. For what he did to her boy. "You said you'd bring him home," she'd said, voice trembling with anger. "You said he'd be safe."

When the procession left, he'd stood at Peter's grave for a long time. He could barely get the strength up to murmur, "I'm sorry, kid. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna bring you home. No matter what it takes."