For All Time

Chapter 9

"Why didn't you tell me?"I asked in a faint whisper when I was finally able to say something.

"Aaliyah that's not something I could just come out and tell you."She said calmly.

"Yeah, but what about those other times when I asked you things about her, You never told me then."

She sat back in her chair and started playing with her fingers."Look, Aaliyah, I was going to tell you, believe me....I was.I-I just didn't know when."She said, she didn't even meet my gaze.

I stared at her for a long moment, not knowing what to say next. I was just stuck on the fact that my own mother was a drug addict. I mean, I can't see her doing any of that stuff. I don't care what it was, I just don't see it. My mother always told me that Hollywood had it dark sides I remember the night she told me. I could never forget it.

FLASHBACK

We were sitting in my room and she was reading a book to me. It was a toutine that we did everynight before I went to bed. When she placed the book back down on my nightstand she looked at me and smiled."Baby Girl, I know that you want to sing when you get older."She whispered in my ear.I was half asleep."But I want you to know that Hollywood isn't what it's all cracked up to be. There are some dark sides. I just don't want you to get caught up in that dark world like Mommy did okay honey."

I nodded my head.

She kissed me on the forehead. Her lips was so warm against my skin.Then she cut out the light.

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I"Ve always wondered what she meant by .........like mommy did...... And now I know. The flashback brought tears to my eyes and I tried my best to hold them back."W-what drug was she addicted to?"I asked quietly.

"PainKillers"She said.

I looked at her confusingly."Painkillers?"I asked

"Your mother had brocked her leg long before you and your brother were both born and the doctors kept her on medication fro the pain, When Life started to get a little ruff for her she kinda.......you know."

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat."So didn't you ever tell me?" I had to as again because it made no sense to me that she wouldn't I had a brother and the fact that she had problems with drugs.

"Aaliyah I thought that maybe you didn't need to know and then I sort of slipped my mind at the same time."She said still playing with her fingers

"What Susanne? What in the world made you think I didn't need to know that I had a brother?"I asked getting highly agitated.

"Because For one, when you asked about your mother you were to young to undestand."She said as she tried to reach back across the table and get my hand.

I shot it away."Susanne, I was Fifteen years old when I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. I have been all over the world and have seen pretty everything, I seen drug addicts before. Sso DON'T YOU TELL ME I WAS TO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND!!"I rose up from my chair staring down at her angrily.

"OKay, first of all Aaliyah, you need to sit down and stop raising you voice at me."She said

I gave her cold stare but still obeyed her.

"Second of all. Just sit here and let me explain."

I relaxed my face.and sat back in the chair with my arms crossed, smirking back at her.

"Okay, The reason why I never told you is because Rashad's father said that I would never be able to see him again."She started.

"And You believed him?"

She shook her head."At first I didn't. I tried to look for him but there was no records of him I think that maybe he changed his name or something."

"Why would he do that?" I asked. IT made no sense to that he would change his on son's name?What did he do?

"Okay look I know that you think that your father was the one who made your mother wreck the car, but your wrong. See Aaliyah and Rashad's father relationship wasn't the best one you would want to have. He was an Abusive husband and she when she finally ran away from him she had left Rashad behind. She knew that it would be safer if he stayed with him simply because He would've never hurt Rashad. But If she brought him with her, he would have.So she stayed away for about two years living in that cabin staying away from the paparazzi, and then she meets your father. The whole time they were dating She was trying to get Rashad back but he wouldn't let her any where near him and it just put her in this whole depression state. That's when the painkillers started coming in. She was a complete mess, I only saw her like every once in a while and when I did see her she was high as a kite. That's how bad it was. I tried to get her to go to rehab but she wouldn't go She told me that the only way she'd go was if she saw Rashad. I was so so so worried about her that I went to him and payed him for me to bring him to Leah. It was alot of money but i didn't care. Leah was like a sister to me and sisters would do anything to save each other. When I brought him to her she was crying uncontrollably she had missed him so much, I asked if she'd go to rehab then she nodded her head yes. The only thing was, then she was pregnant with you."She glanced over at the baby picture of me hanging on the wall and smiled."It had turned out that she was already trying to stop because she knew she was pregnant. She did good up until you were born then He stop allowing Rashad to see her again."

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders."I don't know. But that picture right there was the last time Leah ever saw Rashad. The night that truck had ran into her was the night that she couldn't take the pain anymore and went to his house and try to confront him about it. I don't know what happened there but when she was on her way home she was crying so hard that she didn't see the red light or here the truck horn that's crash happened."

"So what you saying is something happened at that house that caused my mother to get in a car wreck, and that's the reason why he changed his name"I asked, trying to understand.."and He feels guilty for because he was the reason why she was crying on the way home?"

She rolled her eyes."Shoot, I doubt he felt guilty for it. All I know is at the funeral he told me not to get anymore ideas about allowing that girl to see Rashad because it's not gonna happen."She looked like she had dazed off into space while she said it as if she was reliving that day.

"What did my mother do that was so wrong?"I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders again."No one knows, she never told me." She ran her fingers through her hair."Look Aaliyah  I  know you have alot of questions but some of them i just don't know the answer to. Leah kept many secrets from me....some....she just didn't want to tell anyone about."

Just then the phone ranged. She reached over and picked it up."This is Susanne De Pass how may i help you?"she asked."Oh hey Berry"She said.Then held up one finger. I knew that if it was him it was gonna take long so i grabbed the picture and the journal and walked out the room. Susanne had given me alot of information but I still felt like she was leaving something out. I just didn't know what.