Red Eyes

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A year has now passed after I came out as gay; probably the worst thing to do in sixth grade. My friends have known since like forever, but to everyone else, it was horrifying. Walking down the halls wasn't easy, everyone kept making space as if I had a deadly illness that spreads by looking at you. I could see their faces of disgust as I passed by, and I could hear the whispers that eventually became louder, and louder. I got used to it after a while, and so did everyone else. People started getting friendlier, too friendly to be in fact, it actually just got very humiliating.

Around that time in my life, during gym class, we all had to suit out into proper active wear, so the locker room was my least favorite part of it all. Yes I do admit it was heaven watching all these cute boys, at the time, strip down right in front of me, but who can blame me? I was a kid, and besides I've always been curious of how they'd look underneath their clothes. But joke after joke the guys would make, and every time they did I got a little more frustrated and less attracted towards men. "Hey Kevin, like this piece of meat?" "Bet you love coming in here don't you?" I didn't.

On the inside I was killing myself over, and over again. "Why did you have to be gay!? Can't you just like girls like the others!" I remember coming home wiping my tears, hoping that my mother wouldn't notice my big, puffy, red eyes. I haven't come out to my parents yet. The thought of it was just so frightening. Both my parents are Catholics, but not the crazy, "excessive" Catholics, and Hispanic too, which couldn't make anything less scary.

As the days went by, everything got a bit easier to handle, especially when he came along. "Are you gay?" some guy asked out of curiosity, we'll call him Roger for now, but that's not his name. "Geez we go to the same school, how hard is it to spot the guy who everyone's afraid of?" I'd ask myself, but he was just curious so I said yes. "Me too." he responded. I looked at him in awe, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was well known that he was; my "gaydar" broke scale every time I passed him, and my hope for the future became immense. But I looked at him, and all of a sudden, I knew I had to have him.

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