Letter R .

Redemption

Ever since I met this wonderful young man, I felt like nothing could ever hurt me anymore. I felt safe, and finally at ease with everything that had happened. All those years of trying to find something that no one else believed in finally payed off! I couldn't be anymore happier.

My life was finally together too; I was more active in school, I became friendlier, which is strange on my parts. Aside from that, I've also developed a stronger relationship with my family. Nothing can go wrong at this point. However, life just has its...wonders you can say.

I'm now a junior in high school, and he is a freshman at college, and we're both in the middle of the school year, and we've just returned from winter break. January 26, 2018, the date will forever haunt me, I walk in early to school. I later run towards the bathroom, I woke up late so I didn't really have time to take a shit at home. I go in, but I wasn't able to take a shit: I was surprised by two arms that pulled me down to the ground, with a guy from school being on top of me.

He had locked the door behind us, and unzipped his pants while still holding me down. I couldn't move, I couldn't yell, my body went numb and in shock at the same time. I walked out as if nothing happened once it was over, and it stayed that way until he following week. The event couldn't stay in my mind so I told my boyfriend, he has never been more pissed in his life. "You better report this to the school Kevin!" I was hesitant of doing it at first, but I did.

A whole night was waisted examining me, and two months in continuous trial. All for a 5 year restrictions towards him, and an unwanted disease in which I was diagnosed with 5 months later. Why was God punishing me? What did I do wrong in order to deserve this? Throughout that whole time period, I was emotionless, again.

It was now June, and one day I woke up feeling very heavy. All of these emotions were flowing through me in and out non stop. I had trouble breathing, I was having anxiety, and I was gripping tightly to the bed sheets, and then...I broke out crying. For 5 years I've been numb, and those 5 years came back to haunt me. Every single emotion I've held in was finally making its way out. Was this the plan of redemption life, or God had for me? I don't know yet; at the moment I'm just living with hundreds of emotions.

This is all happening so fast; I can't take control of it, I'm afraid. I feel so punished, but at the same time saved. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't, my story isn't over, and it's been in writing as the days go by. Now, I remembered everything, and my least favorite letter in the alphabet...is the letter r.