The Spiral of Acceptance

Chapter 7

A/N: In case you're really dense, and still don't get it, John is Arctic's "double personality"

"Okay..." she trailed off, trying to figure out how to get Arctic to come back.

"Like-like me or like-crush me?" Zinnia asked, trying to make sense of her own feelings amidst all her worry for Arctic. She stared nervously at the long gash on Arctic/John's palm, watching the blood slow drip onto the table.

"Like-like. Do you like-like him or like-crush him?" inquired the boy sitting on the table.

"Are you Arctic's double identity?" Zinnia said instead, avoiding the question. She didn't even know if she liked Arctic at all - the boy with broken eyes and perfect life terrified her - the fact that there was someone who was as broken inside as her terrified her so much, not because he was broken, but because he was already so fragile.

"I am not Arctic's anything," hissed John, "I am John Smith, and Arctic is mine."

"Okay..." trailed Zinnia. Inside, her heart was racing. Little did she know John could see her anxiety from the way her gaze flicked back and forth from the penknife to the wound on his hand, never once meeting his eyes.

How could she change him back? How could she stop John from hurting himself - no, from hurting Arctic more?

"Look, John, why are you getting Arctic - why are you cutting yourself?" She asked, voice wavering as she fought to keep it steady.

"Because..." John said dramatically, as if it were some joking matter. Rage coursed through Zinnia, replacing the cowardice with strength.

"Because what?" she prompted, voice not shaking at all now.

"Because he is broken - and I want him to look like what he is on the outside," responded the other with a hand flourish, like a professor explaining the basic rules of science.

"Broken on the inside? What do you mean?" the brown-eyed girl asked, mirroring his action of cocking one's head.

"He's broken inside. He can't love properly, he can't live normally. I'm just bundling it all up into myself and making him seem normal," spat John.

Before Zinnia could react, he let out a string of curses.

"No why no not now Arctic girl - Zinnia run!" Words strung together in a panicked tone was enough incentive to make the girl bolt. Even as she ran, John lunged towards her with the penknife, mouth wide open but no more sound coming out.

Zinnia ran and ran and ran. Her brother had once mocked her for being the only Brooks who was slow but she felt that this could not be true - she ran like she was flying but there was nothing beautiful about it.

Hiding behind a pillar, Zinnia watched as the penknife dropped to the ground and Arctic-John let out an almost silent scream.

Within seconds, the whole spectacle was over as Arctic buried his head in his hands, muttering "No, why..." over and over again, finally resulting in him screaming the words at the empty classroom.

A/N: Longer chapter than usual
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