Ashes to Ashes: The Female Alpha

Kiss me goodnight (pt.28)

- Mature Themes Towards the End -

I felt the string snap as an ache came over my heart. I had always heard the stories of the excruciating pain that consumes a wolf once their mate dies, but none have ever spoken about the broken heart you experience when you feel the very essence of a loved one vanish. That's what it felt like; emptiness.

My brother and I had always had this strange connection. At times I would feel what his was feeling, and vice versa. I think it's the reason why we were both so good at telling if the other was lying. I felt the ping in my heart as the salty river streamed from my eyes; it was a sign that he was gone. Many tried to tell me what I felt was not real, or that it had no connection to him, but I knew it did. He is dead. Our birthgiver had killed him, and would soon come to kill me as well.

I spent the last week mourning for my brother, locked up in my room. Sure we had an imperfect relationship, but that did not mean I didnt love my brother. He was my only family. I had a small burial for him, with a few pack members who attended to see his empty casket being put into the ground. Rush tried to stop me from doing the funeral, claiming once again that the sharp pain to my heart was not a sign that he was gone. But I know she killed him. I know her too well.

I knew I couldn't let myself go down the road of darkness. After I cried out all my tears and punched the walls, I put on the warrior facade. The warrior facade was something I learned at a young age. It kept me from breaking down after I seen so much death and destruction caused by my own hands.

I knew I needed to put on my big girl pants as the war was almost here. The warrior part of me made a point that we no longer had an advantage because my brother was now gone. It hurt me to even think that way, as my only thoughts should concern his death and reminiscence about the good times we had, not think about strategy and the war.

I have been reviewing battle strategies with Rush and Samuel all day, but every plan ended the same; we would have to fight. Many of our fighters would have to die for us to win the battle, that I already knew. Our warriors knew that as soon as they joined the warrior pack. Eventhough they knew the possibility of death, I still didn't want to lose any of them. They were my family when I no longer had Walker. They taught me how to protect myself, how to protect my pack, how to be strong.

I still remember those days where Samuel taught me how to bake. Every Sunday we spent in the kitchen trying to successfully make a red velvet cake. I let out a small laugh as I remembered how disgusting it tasted the first time we made it. I couldn't imagine what would happen if Samiel were to die in the war.

"Come here," Rush patted on the space next to him on the bed

I followed what he said and sat next to him. He was leaned against the headboard when he pulled me into his lap. He played with my hair as he whispered endless things into my ear. He talked about everything and anything. His hands soon found their way to my shoulders, and began to massage them

"You're very tense"

He continued to massage my shoulders, then moved to my back. Content sighs flew out of my mouth as he got rid of the knots in my back and shoulders. After the massage, he pulled me back into his lap,

"I was 17 when I became Alpha," he started, "my father wasn't fit to be Alpha anymore. He and my mother were going through a rough patch, and he began to take his anger out on the pack members. It was also the first time I'd been hit by him."

My eyes grew wide as he revealed his father hit him. I wanted to turn around and face him, but he kept me on his lap, unable to move.

"After he hit me, my mother was furious. She threatened to reject my father if he ever did that again. He never hit me again, but one day, he ended up killing a pack member. He said that the pack member, Eva, kept bothering him, and in a moment of bad judgement, he snapped her neck. I challenged him for the Alpha position the next day. Turns out, the stress of being Alpha was what got to him. Now he's happy and content at my mothers side, with no responsiblity."

"Why did you tell me this story" I asked

He turned me so I was straddling him, "I know so much about you, but you know nothing about me. It's only fair you know one of secrets, since yours seem to be popping up everywhere"

I let out a chuckle. It was true, so much of my past has been revealed without me wanting it too.

He moved a piece of my hair from my face, "you're so beautiful. I don't know what I did to deserve you"

He gave me a peck, that soon turned into a passionate kiss. Goddess, I dont think I'll ever get tired of feeling his soft lips on mine. The kiss turned more needy, and suddenly our clothes were gone. I knew what was coming, and I accepted it.

- Mature Themes Ahead -

It was like a movie. The way I was thrown onto the bed, my body shivering with excitement as Rush crawled over me. His dark eyes pierced mine as his hand gently began to discard of my top. It was all so fast, yet so slow. It wasn't long until my pants were discarded on the floor with my top, only a pair of white undergarments stay intact. His eyes roam unapologetically as small appreciative sounds leave his full lips.

"Beautiful," he whispered into my neck as he began to nip and lick at my skin. His tongue and lips explore every crevice, moving from my neck, to my stomach, to my thighs. He stops a moment as he stares straight at my white thong, fingers slowly slipping the fabric away, "so pure," he murmurs into my thigh.

My breaths come out harsher as the material is no longer in his way, his mouth claiming the area that was covered a mere second ago. My hands shoot into his hair, pulling him closer, silently begging for him to continue his assault. I could not stop the moans that escape my lips as his mouth works its magic, slowly bringing me higher and higher.

"Oh god!" I feel him smirk as my juices coat his face.

Rush begins to pepper kisses again, this time moving upward until he reaches his destination. He rips the bra off, freeing my breasts for him to feast on. His mouth latches onto one of my breasts as his hand massages the other. My nipples pebble instantly as another sensation begins to fill me, "we're not done yet, kitten" his raspy voice echoes in my ears.

My body is flipped onto stomach, my ass raised into the air, then a stinging sensation fills my sweet spot. Rush shows no mercy as he thrusts into my hole with no remorse, going faster and faster as grunts leave his mouth. I let the screams leave freely from my lips, letting Rush know how good he makes me feel. Letting him know, only he can make me feel this way.

After what seemed like hours of screwing, Rush pulled me into his arms and kissed me gently goodnight. My heart swooned at the notion; never in my life had I felt more complete than I do now. But even in this content bliss, I knew it was the calm before the storm.