Dead bonds

chapter 1, Travis

Every time I turn around… it’s there, chasing me.

Ever since I was five, my grandmother loved to bore the idea into my head

that my reflection was chasing me, through stories and teasing. And ever since I was five, I believed her. Now I’m twenty-four, and I curse her every second of every day.

I work at an old run down store across the street from my house, and I don’t have to go in until about ten at night which is the only real job that I’ve ever worked. It’s one of those stores that you pass and looks like it was built in the 1700s, but it’s still quite nice on the inside. You know, if you like that kind of thing.

    I actually avoid going out in the daylight at all because of my ‘fear’. I’m not the average shut in though, I’m actually quite extroverted, yet painfully awkward. I just usually go out at night to do anything anyone else would need to do, my life is just a little flipped, but I make do.

I’m a regular at almost every 24-hour place in town, and tonight I’m stopping by the local drug store to visit my friend Ida where she works the night shift.

    I don’t own a car, like most people in my apartment complex, so I set off for the thirty-minute walk.

I walk into the chimed door and immediately get hit with the scent of exactly what you think a drug store at two o'clock in the morning would smell like. The horrid smell of booze and drugs. Ida was in the back aisle, helping an old woman who seemed to have gotten lost on her way out of the bathroom. She turned around and smiled crookedly in my direction. I waved to her and walked to the magazine section. Ida quickly finished with the woman and rushed over to me. “What brings you here on such a fine morning?” she snorted as if she cracked herself up with such a bad joke.

“I told you that I had the night off and I know Ezra is coming in soon, so I figured we could go on an adventure!” I sang sarcastically, as I waved my arms in the air and point to the empty ghost town in front of us, and then went back to my usual solemn face that we were both used to.  She smiled and nodded her head in agreement

The lights of the drug store seemed as if they were working twice as hard to keep the room from being left in complete darkness, and talking to Ida helped my brain ignore the fact that my shadow was there, and it was shifting closer to me every time I breathe.

After she clocked out, we went to the bar a few blocks down. Where the lights were flashing blue and red and my shadow was twisting and warping under me like a bubble in the palm of a child.

After I already had a drink and was hanging by the dark bar while Ida was on the dance floor. She walked over and slipped beside me without catching anyone else’s at the bar's attention.

“Hey, what about that guy?” she chuckled, still catching her breath from dancing.

“Huh?” I asked in a curious tone.

“I’m right to assume that you’re still single, so I figured you were getting lonely. He’s on the dance floor right over there.” She pointed out hopefully, I didn’t bother looking, knowing that it would be pointless.

I took another sip of my drink and shook my head. “I can’t maintain a relationship, you know this. I mean come on, I only know you because you work the night shift at the nearest drugstore where I get my anti-depressants!”

I could see her slip off of her chair after my awkward comment with a mischievous smile on her freckled face, “I’m bringing him over here!”

“NO! Don’t you-” I cut myself off after I realized I was talking to myself, I just sighed… sitting, waiting for the inevitable awkwardness about to ensue.

I spun around my chair and watched everyone on the dance floor, while I had myself chained to the dark corner like a child in a room full of businessmen. I figured that Ida was right, and I was lonely, but I knew a relationship was impossible with my stupid fear. I’m destined to live alone.

After that, I spun my chair around and laid my head down on the bar and closed my eyes, as if I was going to find something magical when I opened them.

 That it did.

The man that Ida brought over was not what I thought, he was a somewhat skinny and short man with large round glasses and a blue striped hoodie who looked about my age, 25. To say the least… he was adorable.

“Uh- hi. Nice to meet you, my name’s Alex.” he stammered as he spoke as if he was nervous.

“I’m Ty. It’s nice to meet you too. I’m sorry about my friend, she’s mostly harmless though.” I admitted, also receiving a giggle from the other party that made me smile. He then awkwardly squirmed onto the chair next to me, as I spun my chair around, not wanting to look away. He pushed up his glasses only to accidentally make eye contact with my starring self.

He looked down shyly and gasped, “Look at our shadows!” he exclaimed unexpectedly.

I couldn’t help but listen to him and be just as shocked with what I saw. I didn’t want to look, but I did, and oh do I regret my decision.

The lights on the busy dance floor still managed to shine on us as we had our eyes locked on the purple shadows underneath our feet. They were dancing, together. Our shadows were dancing together and we weren’t?! They knew what they were doing. It was The Waltz, and it was mesmerizing, like a fairytale. The flashing lights of the bar disappeared and all that was left was the perfect movements of the shadows, glowing with light.

My heart was racing and neither of us had any idea of what to say… was I just drunk? No, I only had one drink. Was I dreaming? No, I didn’t close my eyes that long. It was real, somehow. I came to this conclusion rather quickly and I was strangely content with it.

    Alex was the first one to move, I could tell without taking my eyes off of the dancer. When he stepped out of his seat, his long elegant shadow stumbled and picked itself back up, only to continue to dance to the silent music that was playing in my head that I’m sure he heard too. I shook my head as I watched my shadow do the same and finally looked up and stared straight into his confused blue eyes that appeared pink in the club’s light.

“This- this is um, am- amazing?!” he blurted out innocently.

It was, more than anything. Every breath that I took ruined this beautiful yet confusing night. But it needed to end… but not the way it did.

It was Ida who ruined the moment. No one knew where she was before she stumbled into my field of vision like a toddler first learning to walk without its parents.  All I really know was that it was about time to end whatever was happening.

“Ahhh!! How’s it going with you two lovebirds?” she coughed with an evil look spread across her face. She obviously had a few drinks in her so I decided that it was about time to go, but my heart was telling me to stay with the boy who my shadow was so in love with.

The thought of my shadow still brought shivers down my spine and images of death when I close my eyes, but the real thing… the real thing was a beautiful dancer who was hopelessly in love.

“Hey, sorry about this but I think I have to bring her back to her apartment,” I  explained, trying to forget what just happened.

“Okay… well, can I at least have your number?” He asked with a simple directness that frankly surprised me after the boy I saw just five minutes ago, who was glowing with wonder and love.

“Uh, sure. Here. You can just put yours on my phone if that works.” I slipped my hand into my back pocket and dropped the phone into his hand, being careful not to touch his skin.

He just nodded as he typed the ten digit number into the bright screen of my phone and quickly handed it back to me without a word.

“WOAH! GUYS, DO YOU SEE THIS?!” shouted Ida abruptly through her drunken haze, breaking the silence between us as she pointed to Alex’s and I’s shadows that never slowed down brokenly dancing to the same tune that was in both of our brains.

Before I could respond to my drunk friend, Alex was already attempting to explain what we didn’t even know ourselves, as our shadows continued to sway to what by now I could only guess was Beethoven. And the sun started to rise in complete silence as I walked home with my best friend hanging on to me, signaling me into solitude once again.