He was Almost Absorbed by the System

Chapter Twenty Six - The Dam Shall Burst

Cornelius woke a little before noon, the sun having finally found the correct angle to beam through the crack in the heavy curtains to fall upon his pale face. He rolled over in his large bed, in an attempt to avoid the bright light only to lie on a full bladder that screamed in need of relief. Unable to ignore the calls of the day, he shuffled off of the bed, slightly aware that he had crawled onto it fully dressed and headed straight for the chamber pot in the far corner. He really ought to curb the late nights where he worked until his eyes could no longer see and his fingers could barely move. It was just, he thought with a heavy sigh, Matthew had left the residence a few weeks prior and rather than linger in depression due to his absence, he shut himself away in the workshop in the basement instead.

Miss him, he thought, as he descended to see what he could scrounge from the kitchen. Miss his company, his silly jokes that only he found amusing and especially miss his cooking. Finding an apple, that did not appear to be too old and a slightly dry crust of bread leftover that Matthew's apprentice had purchased two days ago, he slowly choked the meagre meal down with a little watered down ale. Ah! When will Matthew come back!

Each time the man left on business or for family matters, there was a sense of relief as well as a hint of loss. He loved him so much, yet he could only watch as his 'friends' visited with their sisters and his family visited with their 'friends'. He could no longer count the number of times a madam had visited with her unwed daughter in tow. Matthew, as expected from a young master, was amicable with all, speaking with words that meant neither rejection nor promises. The girls and their chaperones all left both feeling satisfied and yet feeling as if they have attempted to grasp air. But each visit wounded Cornelius just a tad more. And yet the thought of not being able to see Matthew everyday hurt more so, so their ambiguous relationship continued.

I cannot be his wife nor mother to his children, but at least I can be his friend... this thought often tumbled through his mind.

He was about to return to his room and try to sleep a little more, when he heard a sound coming from Matthew's office. The apprentice was usually out at this time so after grabbing one of Matthew's canes from the vase in the hallway, he slowly approached the room only to find the man he longed for asleep on the small hard couch beneath the window. His long body was practically folded in two as he curled into the awkward space. His soft snores blew loose strands of his blue-black hair away from his nose briefly, before they settled back about his face. A slight frown wrinkled his forehead and his lips formed a pout. Cornelius chuckled inwardly, feeling the weight of his woes suddenly lift from his shoulders and disperse. He grabbed a blanket from the drawing room and went to settle it over the man.

His eyes fell upon the other's mouth and he wondered if those lips were as soft as they appeared. Perhaps it was due to his unstable state in that moment, emotions welling to the point they could not longer be contained and spilled from his heart in the form of actions rather than words, but Cornelius knelt and brushed those tempting still lips with his own. They were soft, he thought, dreamily as he pulled away only to find two wide eyes staring hungrily at him.

****

Matthew had stumbled back into his house at some point near to daybreak, having decided he had put up with his mother's shenanigans long enough. He had initially been summoned... requested... to attend a party to be thrown by his second brother's wife in celebration of her youngest son's fifth birthday. There had been a couple of her friends in attendance with their small children and their sisters, who just happened to be of marriageable age. He had been less than impressed by this and their manner was only slightly more subtle than Nellie, for rather than asking how many children he wanted in the future(as she had done), they had mentioned how nice it must be to be a mother enjoying her children's youth, do you not agree, Master Westcott?