Burning Desire

Chapter 32

I made some lame excuse to Alex about having to use the restroom and skirted away before he had a chance to notice that something was wrong. On my way to the doors, I passed Selena and Daren, and the look on Selena's face was almost as sad as the hurt in Jesse's eyes. She was the only person in the entire room who understood what had just happened, and I knew she was about to follow me out into the hall to give me that shoulder I was about to need to cry on. As much as part of me wanted to just break down and cry to my best friend about my fuck up, I pushed that idea aside and waved her off, determined to go handle the situation one-on-one with Jesse.

I exited the ballroom and looked up and down the corridor and out into the lobby. There was no sign of him. A bellhop was leaning against a luggage cart, scrolling through his phone. I hurried over to him to ask if he'd seen a man matching Jesse's description. Without taking his eyes off of his screen, he pointed to the hotel entrance.

I scurried through the revolving doors and there he was. Jesse stood on the sidewalk, his sport coat slung over his forearm while he chugged down a beer. His back was to me, but he knew I was there.

"What?" he snapped angrily, staring a burning hole through the building across the street.

Cautiously, I stepped closer, expecting him to spin around and light into me, but he didn't.

Even in the darkness, I could make out the stiffness of his muscles under his white shirt. His back was rigid. He was as tense as a panther about to pounce on its prey.

"Jesse..." I started to speak, but was quickly cut off.

"How long?" he asked, finally turning to face me. "How long have you been with that guy? How long have you been lying to me?"

"Jesse, you don't understand-"

"I understand just fine!" he bellowed and passersby stopped to watch our spat. "He's your boyfriend, isn't he? You've been cheating on him with me, right?"

Oh, boy, this was not going the way I'd expected it to.

"No. No. No. That's not it at all!" I shook my head, tears brimming in my eyes. "Jesse, you and I were never official. Just like Alex and I were never official. I've been dating around, seeing both of you for a while, exploring my options! That's all! I'm not anyone's girlfriend! I haven't been cheating on anybody!"

Jesse was silent for several agonizing seconds, glaring into my eyes with a fiery disdain, and I hated myself for not having the common sense to realize that the big event he'd talked about catering on Wednesday was the New York Times dinner. I should've figured that one out. Hell, I should've asked! I should've never been P.D.A.-ing up the place before I broke the news to both of them.

I should've known this would blow up in my face at some point. I just hadn't expected it to be so soon, or like this.

"Alex, huh?" Jesse breathed words of fury. "That wouldn't happen to be the same Alex who called that night you and I were out, would it? If I recall correctly, he was 'just a coworker,' right?"

I felt like a scared animal being backed into a corner with his verbal jabs. He had every right to be angry, but I wished he would just stop long enough for me to calmly explain myself to him.

"Yes," I admitted sheepishly. "That was him. But I think you can understand why I didn't say anything to you at the time, Jesse. I had just started getting to know Alex, and-"

"And you'd just started getting to know me!" he shouted and the crowd of observers started to grow. "Kate, I would've understood if you'd just told me that you didn't want to make anything exclusive yet – that you wanted to see other men and explore your fucking options, as you say. You could've just had that conversation with me! You didn't have to go sneaking around behind my back with some other guy!"