she's always a woman

f i v e

my eyes fluttered open. the bright buffalo sun radiated through my windows, acting as it's own, natural, alarm.

i blinked a few times, attempting to allow the excess amount of sleep escape my eyes. my arms stretched above me as i shifted my back in all different directions, hoping to hear a crack here and there.

sitting up, i glanced at the blinking clock.

'1:53 PM'

i sat and thought for a minute.

"shit!" i sprung from my bed and ran into the bathroom, turning the shower head on.

i jumped in after stripping of last nights clothes and squirted the shampoo and conditioner supplied by the hotel in my hair, improperly scrubbing away at my scalp and ends.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

i turned off the water and sprinted out of the tub, carelessly forgetting my towel.

i squeezed my drenched hair onto the carpet and roamed through my bag, finding clothes the fit into.

i struggles to squeeze into my leggings, as they were in fact my tightest pair. i didn't bother wearing panties or a bra, as they would just become uncomfortable throughout the day. at least what was left of it.

throwing on a tight, long sleeved black shirt and lightly fluffed vest, i gather my soaked hair in a bun, placing a black nike baseball cap on my head.

i glanced at the clock.

'2:04'

i squealed and grabbed my bag and phone, sliding my converse on and sprinting out the door.

my phone was being blown up with notifications; mostly from connie.

'where are you?'
'dianna.'
'i swear, if you overslept again.'
'your father doesn't pay me enough for this.'
'lets go!'

"shit." i whined as i headed for the stair doors.

i jumped down and opened the door, revealing the lobby and my fathers hockey team.

"dianna, honey, there you are!" my father smiled.

"yep, here i am. now here i go!"

"where are you going?" he yelled as i sped through the lobby.

"connie." i looked at him out of breath.

he rolled his eyes and looked at me.

"out the door, go straight, second rink on your left."

i nodded and glanced at my phone.

'2:07'

"fuck!" i said.

"watch the language. now get your ass to practice." my father chuckled. "interviews at the main center at 4:45, dinner with the mayor at 7. do not be late."

i rushed out the door, exposing my petite body to the wintry aroma.

alright, dad said straight. second rink on your left.

i opened the door to rink 2, meeting glances with an annoyed connie.

she huffed and skated over to me.

"dianna o'brien, unless you had a near death experience, there is no excuse on earth that could save you from this! we've already wasted almost 10 minutes of our practice time. i can only have you for a limited time, you realize!" she yelled as i changed into my skates, securing them. "i doubt we will even have time for warm ups at this point. get your ass on the rink and begin your triple axel's."

i nodded and sighed, gliding on the ice.

2 hours later

my legs burned. stung, actually.

"let's go! those triple lutz's aren't going to do themselves o'brien!" connie yelled as music echoed throughout the vast rink.

i groaned and skated to the center.

"aye, connie, can i have my daughter back please?" i sighed in relief as my fathers voice blared over the speakers.

i glanced over to him standing side by side with coach moore and the team behind them.

"well, daniel, your daughter was late to my lesson due to her failure to wake up when she is supposed to." she flicked my ear.

"ow, the fuck." i whispered-yelled.

"i deserve to have her for another 10 minutes or so. make yourself comfortable boys. this girl is being put to work."

everyone chuckles.

i give a look of annoyance to my dad, as he simply shrugs.

everyone sprawls onto the bleachers.

"starting position. you will be performing act fourteen."

i looked at connie and clenched my teeth. i couldn't do this song.

not because of the challenge included in the moves or rhythm of the music, just the way it made me feel. what it reminded me of. and she knew.

connie skated over to the speakers and scrolled through her phone.

"hat off, hair down, dianna." she yelled.

i hesitantly did as she asked and got into starting position.

the music begun as did my feet.

i stared at the ground in front of me, trying to focus on the moves opposed to the song itself.

"head up, eyes forward!"

i propped my head up to meet glances with kellyn. his elbows were glued to his knees as he followed my movements.

i stared at him as the lyrics filled my head.

'don't walk away, don't roll your eyes
they say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight.'

my mind drifted as i remained gliding on the tattered ice.

this is what i feared.

everything began coming back to me.

my childhood. my mother. my father. my first love. him.

tears filled the brim of my eyes.

the sharp pains in my joints returned, as well the stinging of my eyes and lips. my fingers clenched as my neck tightened. it was all coming back.

'well darling, let's hurt tonight.'

i was hurting.

yet, i continued.

my hair danced in the air as my body rose with the wind. my arms clenched to my chest, legs locked together. i landed on one foot, without any troubles.

the music softened, as i slowly came to stop.

my chest rose and fell.

claps echoed throughout.

i looked at my white knuckled hands, then up at connie.

her face was emotionless.

i skated over to my hat and snatched it off the ground.

i sped off the rink and quickly undid my skates, throwing them on the ice, causing shock to rush through the entire rink.

"sorry for being late, connie." i growled and stomped out the door, shouts radiating behind me.

i sped-walked with anger in every stride. my head face down, my body clenched.

my thoughts were interrupted by my body plummeting to the ground by a strong force.

i groaned and looked up

there stood two lengthy men with sparkles in their eyes, both with gorgeous, dirty blonde hair and scruff that added to the definition of their masculine features.

their large hands floated in front of me.

was this a dream?