The Curious Incident of the Anti-Christ [Dip](DamienxPip){South Park}

Chapter 6-Pip's POV

Oh my, I am so elated for this playdate to finally happen!

"We're here!"

Damien didn't say anything. He still was in a bad mood from whatever happened with Craig and him, I guess.

"Are you hungry? I have snacks."

"I'm fine." He says through clenched teeth and quite agressive, but I let it go. He's just upset, is all.

"Right-o. Uh, I have to apologize. I'm not good at this sort of thing. I'm what you'd call socially awkward."

"That's one similarity we have."

"Oh goodie! We connected on something!"

We sit on my couch, me twiddling my thumbs, Damien looking around as if he wants to inspect the place.

"Do you want to look around?" I finally ask.

"Yes." He heaves himself up, and starts at the basement.

There isn't much down there, there's a washing room, a closet, a old TV, an office, and the washing room.

Damien must have explored that to it's extent.

He then went upstairs.

Up there was only my bedroom and an extra room I put my toys in.

He eventually bounded down the stairs.

And looked through the kitchen, my parents bedroom, and the only bathroom in the house.

Then he sat back down next to me.

"Had your fun?"

"It wasn't much fun in the first place."

"Right-o! What will we do now?"

"Now I'm hungry."

I get up and go to the cupboards.

"What do you like? I have... Some chocolate and a bit of cereal, I could make you some ramen If you'd like-"

I hear the slam of the door and I jump.

What just happened?

A few minutes of stunned silence and Damien returns.

"WHAT IS THAT?!"

"A dog. Did you go to preschool?"

"I went to preschool. Why is there a dog asleep on your shoulders?" I try to keep a calm stature.

"Food, dumbass. Which do you want? I call a leg and the heart."

"What is wrong with you?! This is someone's pet! Oh my god, this is Stan's dog! He's gonna kill us!"

"No, the owner was going to eat the dog! What else would you do with it?!"

"Make it your friend! Jesus Christ, is your father hitler?! How could he teach a child that EATING DOGS IS OK?!"

"Dude, no. Hitler is a pussy. He actually was extremely against animal cruelty."

"What."

"He cries on Christmas if he doesn't have a fucking Christmas tree."

"...What are you talking about?"

"Hitler."

"I-... I don't understand."

"No one understands with your type of intellect. Meh meh meh I'm for Jesus meh satan is terrible meh you will go to hell for this meh gay is a sin meh meh meh."

"I'm for Jesus?"

"Yea, all you fucking Catholics an Christians. Did you know your religion is wrong and you are going to hell?"