Prison Cells and Broken Hearts

Prison Cells and Broken Hearts - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Last goodbye

I want to hold her, to pull her close; never let her go. But I can't. I can't! I'm so sorry, love. "I don't want it to end, at least not like this, Neji..." She sobs, lowering her eyes to the ground. The silence is deafening. "I know." I feel empty. "I'll miss you, Nii-San." She whispers, tears streaming down her face like precious pearls, running over her lips. That broke my spirit. "And I you, lady Hinata." And with that, she's silently led away, my heart following, knowing full well it's bound to be forgotten. Goodbye, Hinata. I love you.

They lead me in the opposing direction, my ties with my lovely cousin severing with the severity of the impact. Our fates have reached their split in the road. I feel numb as I'm quietly led to my temporary prison cell. "See you in seven days.." One of the guards chuckles, shaking her head. A minute passes. I can feel the earth turning beneath my feet, I can hear my heart beating as I sit there, stiff. I can't begin do describe how much I hate myself... If only we could've lived in peace...Eventually, I feel myself slide on to my side, no awareness of time in my windowless room, dark angry walls staring back at me. I do not sleep.

I barely notice as the tears begin to fall, slowly turning into silent sobs, racking my body as I try not to make a sound. My facade has been broken and there's no hope to get it back. I don't stop staring at the wall, my vision blurred and my heart pounding in my ears. I can faintly hear a guard lead another prisoner into the cell next to mine. He's muttering to himself, his eyes darting here and there. I guess sanity got ahold of another one...

Sometime during my time I must've cried myself to sleep, only to dream of my cousin, her raven hair flowing freely in the wind.

Blood flowing from her wrists as she falls.

Her eyes are now empty, just black holes of nothing as she walks towards the edge of the cliff.

Her falling for what seems like forever until, she looks at me and then, then, she cries out, collapsing onto the floor in a heap of sobs.

I wake in a cold sweat, panting, gasping for air. What have I done? I had thought this would all be for the best. But as I'm lying here with nothing to think of other than my despicable predicament, I come to an absolutely terrible realization. Perhaps this so called premonition has been brought on by the nightmares... What if, if I'm not there to protect Hinata, she does something unforgivable? Perhaps to herself? The family? The village? The dreams I just had experienced were retched ones, but as they say; dreams are yet just an extension of your own subconscious mind...No, stop, Neji... I'm just tired and anxious... I have a good reason to be thinking these horrible thoughts... Right?

Time passes without my knowledge. I could be trapped in here for months and I wouldn't know the better... I think I must be going crazy, for my mind is the only one here to keep my company. The ceiling is now the most interesting surface I'd ever laid eyes on, it's crevices and protrusions scattering across the seemingly smooth surface... A ceiling in which I'd gaze through to catch a glimpse of that beautiful cloudless sky on yonder...

And then I simply go numb. Without tears, without a single scream, without validation. I push and I push until my emotions lay at bay, until I become comfortably unfeeling. I still lay on the cot, greasy hair laying in strings across my face. I lay there, for that is the only place I can rest, the only place where I feel safe. The cold hardness of the concrete floor's tremendous stimulation to my weakening feet is too much. Too much feeling... I become one who is outwardly depleted. One who simply lies calm on the bed, sleeping or simply breathing there. But my lungs cry out for a scream, a tear, a whisper... Anything to release this burden laying on my chest; this knot bubbling up in my stomach, a silent cry for help...

I become one who is outwardly unfeeling, cold, uncaring and simply a but sad... But the scratches on the walls and all over my skin, the texture of my neglected hair, once beautiful and soft, tell a story otherwise. A story you'd have to look for to notice, one where you must know what you might find to see. I no longer feel the urge to gaze through the walls, or look through my confinement to the sky... I become completely absorbed in this world I've created... So much so that I've forgotten why I've come...