A Silent Cry

Chapter Eighteen: The Owl

Christmas came and went without an issue. Cry still felt like a complete failure, but he pushed that aside for his family. He saw no reason that his self-depreciation should ruin their good time. It was worth it to see Nathan smile again.

After the holiday season, however, Cry went back to hiding himself. He cut himself off from any contact -- especially his friends. If Felix tried to text him then he would ignore it. No matter how many texts he got he never responded.  He even received a few calls, regular and video, but refused to answer. Every day he got at least something from Felix.

Then one day he didn't.

Cry decided to write it off. He wasn't responding so Felix decided to stop. That was fine. There was no reason for Felix to continue if Cry was ignoring him. 

But the next day he didn't get anything either. Or the next after that. It made Cry wonder if something had happened to Felix. He had never been truly alone, Felix's silence made him realize that. Felix never left. He kept trying to stay by Cry's side no matter how many times he was pushed away.  Now he was gone and Cry had no one left to turn to. It was no one else's fault but his own.

It wasn't that big of a deal, right? This is what he wanted: no contact with anyone who he might end up disappointing. So then why did it feel so... upsetting?

Cry heaved a sigh and left his room. All he wanted was a glass of water and to avoid conversation. Luckily, his mother wasn't home and Sarah was engrossed in one of her TV shows. It was the perfect moment to sneak out then back in.

When he reached the kitchen, he had to be quiet so he didn't catch Sarah's attention. She of all people would be the one to try to talk to him -- try to get him to stay out of his room for as long as possible. It seemed as if she worried the most. Well, perhaps, apart from Felix. But he isn't around anymore.

Cry frowned at the thought. It was true, but that didn't mean it was any less painful to realize. Sighing again, he put the now empty glass into the sink and walked away.

He was at the doorway of his room when a little voice pulled him aside. It was Nathan. He stood there in his pajamas and a book tucked under his arm. In previous times, there would have been a large smile on his face as he produced the book he wanted Cry to read, but now he seemed somber as if carrying a great burden. Cry wanted nothing more than to wipe that look off his little brother's face.

Nathan pulled out the book for Cry to see. Cry's hands were beginning to form a response, but Nathan spoke, "I don't want you to read it." Cry stopped. "I know you might never read this to me again. I know that." Nathan looked down. "I'm not dumb, I just wanted to hope."

Cry didn't respond.

"But that's not why I'm here." Nathan held out the book at arm's length so it could be at Cry's eye level. It was The Great Owl and The Human, one of Nathan's favorite books. "I'm here to show you this."

Cry tilted his head like an inquisitive puppy. Why would Nathan want to show him that? If Cry recalled correctly, it was about an owl that lost... His eyes widened.

"I'm going to read it to you," Nathan continued. "I think you need to remember the ending."

~~~

Russ hadn't stopped pacing his room in his alone time. Whenever he was left to his own devices, all he did was pace. He couldn't keep still. School would be starting back up in a few days and he was nervous about Minx's plan. Not only that, but he would be forced to see Cry and Felix. The two people he wanted to see the least. Russ winced at the memory of his last meeting with Felix. It didn't go so well.

The moment he got home after the altercation he realized what he had done -- what he had said. He immediately wanted to take it all back. He wanted to start over and listen to what Felix was supposed to say. He wanted to own up to his mistakes. But he couldn't. Or rather he wouldn't. He felt like the world's biggest asshole, yet that didn't urge him to apologize.

He was afraid. He was just a scared little boy who didn't want to face the consequences.

"Uh, Minx?"

But that didn't mean he was going to let Felix suffer alone.

"I might have, um... fucked up. Like a lot."

Minx sighed on the other end of the line. "Russ, I gave you the simplest part of the execution, how did you --?" 

"That's not what I meant." Russ pivoted to pace the length of his room again.

"Then what do you mean?"

"I may have," Russ cleared his throat, "I may have, uh, said some things to someone. And maybe I shouldn't have. And maybe I regret it a little bit."

Minx let out a steady breath of air. Her next words were full of disappointment, "What did you say to who?"

"I probably told Felix some pretty nasty things that may have hurt him." Another pivot. "Probably."

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Russ heard something slam onto something else. "You know we're the good guys here, right? We're trying to protect Cry and Felix from Keith -- protect everyone from Keith? Right? So they don't end up like us? Does that ring a bell?" Minx let out another sigh, this time it was one of frustration. "What did you tell him?"

Russ hesitated before relaying everything he said to Felix. It felt even worse the second time. Now that he wasn't in the moment, he had time to recognize what he said was very much uncalled for. He was agitated and exhausted and maybe a little jealous, but that was no reason to do what he did.

Minx was silent for a moment. "Well, you called for a reason. So what do you want me to do about it?" 

"I want you to do what you do best."

Minx exhaled a laugh. "And what form do you want that in?"

~~~

Cry laid in bed with the book in his hands. Nathan had left him after he finished reading. It was a weird, backward thing to experience; with Nathan sitting on the edge of the bed while Cry laid down. It felt different. It felt... finalizing. Like that was it. Nathan was the one reading books aloud now, not Cry. It wouldn't ever be Cry again.

But that wasn't the reason Nathan was there. He wanted to show Cry the ending. It was an ending he had read a handful of times (since Nathan tended to be asleep by then) so he wasn't well versed in it. Turned out it wasn't a typical happy ending.

Kou, the great owl, never had his voice returned to him. He lost his control over the other owls -- even some of their love -- but he didn't mind. The human he had befriended, the one who swore to help him, became his sole companion. They spent their years traveling together until Kou forgot he even had a voice at all. It didn't matter that they had never found it because Kou had something better. He had a friend. A friend who would stick with him unlike the other owls and who would be his voice if ever needed.

Cry held out the book to examine the cover. His fingers traced over the illustration of Kou, wings spread. The great owl who had his voice stolen by a human. Well, in the end, it was a human who saved Kou. Even if that wasn't the way either of them wanted to do it.

Maybe that was what Nathan was trying to say.