We All Break

두 (two)

The next day, Jimin refuses to get out of bed. He lays on top of his comforter, unable to move enough to tuck himself in. He stares into nothing, curled over on his side. The vocalist hasn't slept all night, for every time he closes his eyes he sees his friend. Namjoon was so frightened there on the stage, blood pooling underneath his perfect frame. His fragile features were bent and stretched in fear, that pesky line of crimson dripping from the side of his mouth. Namjoon's lips were closed when Jimin kneeled above his corpse, suggesting that he was choking on his own blood while still conscious. He should have gotten there sooner, he could have helped. It took Jimin so long to notice that Namjoon was missing from their group. He was too late to see him alive, so instead he was given a corpse. You think you know what it does to a person, seeing a dead body, but it is an impossible feeling.

Nothing moves. Jimin barely even breathes. The room is completely silent and still as he lays on top of his bed in a fetal position, his eyes glazed over. Quiet is too loud of a sound to last forever.

Taehyung comes in, as somber as he's ever been. He doesn't approach Jimin laying on the bed, he just stands in the door. Taehyung is unable to speak at first. His throat is tight and breathing comes slow. He has a reason for bothering Jimin in his time of grief, but it takes so long for him to part his lips and speak. His hand rests on the door handle for the many moments that he stands there, helping to steady himself. The room is still so quiet, it would seem a crime to interrupt the still air.

"We have to make a statement," his voice is heavy with sadness. "For the media and ARMY."

Jimin doesn't stir. He has fused himself onto the bed, unmoving and undisturbed. But no matter how still his body has become, Jimin's brain still races and spins. The other members hadn't seen what he had. They hadn't watched the paramedics give up on their best friend, or seen the blood from Namjoon's lifeless body. How could he go out and face a crowd of people with his insides turned outward and his heart wrenched from his chest? How could he stand on another cruel stage and simply make a statement? It would only need to be a few words, but after what he'd seen, what he's feeling, how could anyone ask him of such a thing?

Taehyung says it again, more gently, "They want us to say something about the incident. Maybe a few words about Namjoon."

Hearing Namjoon's name again out loud churns Jimin's stomach. "And what the hell would we say?" He speaks up.

He still doesn't move from his place on the bed, but his words carry so much hatred that he doesn't need to.

"Are we supposed to say how fine we are? How everything is going to be fine?! Joon is gone, he's dead. I will not stand in front of a camera and tell the world to stand strong, that isn't something you're supposed to do when your best friend dies, Tae. I won't make some speech about how we'll get through it. I can't." Jimin's voice cracks on the last word, as if he hadn't cried enough tears.

"ARMYs are worried." Taehyung makes his last attempt at persuasion.

"Let them worry."

***

Yoongi and J-Hope also refuse to make a statement, but they at least agree to stand on stage. Taehyung and Jin both help write a script but when reading it, Jin decides he won't be saying anything. He is too soft for this. Like Jimin, Jin would rather not pretend to be fine while the cameras capture his every movement. He will sit quietly with Yoongi and J-Hope on stage. They will act as statues, mere decoration on the stage. Just showing their faces to the world will be enough.

Taehyung seeks out Jungkook last, knowing the youngest of their group must also be crippled with grief. He finds Jungkook in his room, humming to himself while scribbling something down on a piece of paper. His handwriting is awful, Taehyung notices as he approaches. It looks frantic and rushed, pure chicken scratch. Jungkook's handwriting is usually neat, not this mess.