Learning To Live

Chapter 8

It was night now and as i laid in bed trying to sleep, my eyelids would not surrender me to darkness. I was both anticipating and dreading the next day. There was no way that i would sleep now after all that awaited for me tomorrow. I tried to calm my heartbeat but it would not stop racing as if it were a runner trying to reach the finish line. Despite my eyes being closed, i could not stop thinking about the things that i had learned. I had learned how to do the most wonderful thing in the world: fly.

I was not able to fly in the afterlife because i was not a spirit here but in the real world i was a spirit. Since i was a spirit in the land of the living, i was able to fly. Unlike how i had always pictured angels, i did not need wings to fly. I flew just by being nothingness scattered about in the empty air, riding on the shifting currents of the wind that would thrash me about. I had not actually flown yet, of course, seeing as i was in the afterlife and, therefore, was unable to fly. I was taught how to fly as in takeoff, in the air, and landing. One of the most important topics that Ms. Eller had tried to drill into my head was that i could not push the person to much in trying to guide them. I was merely to be the voice that whispered in the back of their mind. To be the subconscious of a person trying to tell them what the right thing to do was.

I did not realize that i was drifting off into sleep as my active mind kept playing different scenarios in my head. After what felt like hours of lying awake in my bed, sleep finally was able to take ahold of my exhausted mind and body.

When the sun shone onto my face, i did not roll over. I immediately jumped out of bed and stood up. I became wide awake in those few seconds of action. Since i no longer had to eat since i was dead, it meant that i skipped precious time every morning instead of taking time to eat. It was amazing to never have the urge of hunger to eat something. I sure would miss the taste of dessert and chocolate but a person had to give up something important to them besides their life when they died it seemed. I left my hair down and when i was all dressed up in my official outfit which was basically all black so that i could blend in with the shadows, i left the house. Although, i must admit, the outfit was cute and stylish which was strange because uniforms were usually ugly and i never liked them but this one was comfy too.

I went downstairs to find Kayla waiting for me. She was here everyday that i had gotten accustomed to it. Now, it would have been strange to come downstairs and not find her there waiting for me. Soon, i would be in the real world and nobody would be there to save me. I would be on my own. I would sure miss Kayla until i came back but i would see her once i was done with my mission. Once done with my mission, i could come back and do whatever i wanted to until i was called on for the next one.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little bit but it is good to be nervous, just not too much", i informed her.

"Yes. It is good to have a smidge of nervousness."

I gave a slight laugh to Kayla's use of the word smidge.

"What?", she demanded.

"It is just that, well, smidge is a strange word to say."

Kayla gave me a look that basically summed up how she wanted me to just stop talking. To never, ever criticize her grammer ever again. It made me laugh again and her looked deepened. Kayla responded with a sigh before making her face neutral like she always did.

"Enough messing around now, you need to get going. You want to start as soon as possible. Han's position is growing unstable with every passing day. If you do not guide him soon, he will die", Kayla started to warn me.

"I know, i know. I was just leaving."

"Good, i will see you after you finish with your first mission. Bye."