Learning To Live

Chapter 17

I waved my hands above in the air and focused my energy on creating the gateway between the two worlds. Without much force, i was able to make the door appear before me. Its imposing appearance made me feel overwhelmed as if i were just a small speck in the grand plan of all things in the world. It was as if i were just a thorn that lived on the earth as a bothersome thing that poked its side. I felt insignificant. Although i could create a magical doorway between the land of the living and the land of the dead. That was something, right? Not any living person could do that or wandering soul. Only the dead could create the gateway between worlds and i was one of the dead, therefore, i was able to create this portal thing to the other world.

It was exhilarating when the door opened by itself all because of me. It was like having magic except that this was basically the only thing that i could do with the magic. Flying was also a part of it too though. The feeling that comes from using magic was, well, magical. There was nothing to even compare that feeling to.

I went through the door and emerged into the smoky mist of the gateway between worlds. When i had gone a little ways into the gray smoke, i heard the doorway close behind me. I kept walking forward, determined not to lose my way. After what felt like a really long time moving forward, the smoke finally began to clear up and soon gave way to a circular clearing. I saw the lamppost and the bridge made of black metal. I went up to the bridge and put my hand on the sleek railing. I trailed my fingers over it as i made my way over the bridge that led to the land of the dead.

The image of the bridge that led to the different worlds faded. I was in the afterlife now, in the circle of trees. I quickly made my way out of the tree line and went towards the street. Once on the street, i headed for the building where i had first met Mr.Emerson after coming to the afterlife for the very first time. I went to the front of the building and slowly walked up the steps. I was dreading facing everyone. How could i? I did not know how this meeting was going to go but i was going in. I had to be brave. I could not cower under the failures that were all my fault. I had to take responsibility for what i had not accomplished. I had to face the truth.

I pushed open the door and went inside to face whatever may have awaited me. I was greeted by the air that wafted out. It smelled like any office like building smells with the scents of paper, coffee, and cleaner. It was strange how this building in the afterlife could smell so similar to the real world. I guess that some things never change at all, no matter if the people are living or dead. I walked through the hallways. There were some people that i saw but they did not pay me any attention. I was just another person returning from their mission and going to report about it. While i was walking, my feet began to feel better. In the afterlife, people heal quickly while in the real world, we heal like every other person and it does not matter whether you are alive or dead.

As the pain in my feet eased away bit by bit, I had arrived in front of the door where i was supposed to report the result of my mission to whoever was there. The door opened with a whoosh of fresh air that swirled out of the building. The smell of an official building wafted out and covered up the scent of the outdoors. Even in the afterlife, smells were just the same. I would think that they would be different since everything here was not exactly solid in the real world or anything but everything here was very similar to the land of the living. There were not many differences at all. The only thing that was not the same as the actual world was the people in the world. In the afterlife, the people were dead, while on earth, the people were alive.

I went into the building then and breathed deeply. I did not know what to expect. What would happen with this meeting? Would Mr.Emerson be understanding about the failing of my mission or would he be angry? Would he yell at me that i should have been more careful about who or what was around me or would he tell me that there is always another day to do better? Would i never get another mission ever again or would i be given another mission if they decided to keep training me some more?

This uncertainty floated around in my head and made my palms feel sweaty. I slowed my steps down and dreaded the moment that would soon come where i would have to actually to face Mr.Emerson. I was probably just making this anxiety and fear worse than it actually was but i was not able to help it. I could not stop thinking about it. Everything was in my mind with perfect clarity. How i wished that i could just run away and never have to think about any of this stuff ever again. How i wished that i could just forget everything that had happened during my mission and just run home. Just to think, i could be laying in my bed, sleeping, at this point. But no. I had to report the results of my mission first. Did Mr.Emerson and whoever else not care about my wellbeing? I was so stressed out after everything that i could hardly function. I had not spoken more than a few sentences either since i had left. The only noise came from my mind that constantly had thoughts that i did not want to think about.

I finally went into the room after debating with myself on the issue for a while. Mr.Emerson was the only one inside and he sat at a desk that looked very official. He motioned for me to sit without saying anything. I began to speak and tell him what had happened on my mission. I told him everything and most of the details. I did not leave out anything except for the parts where i cried or insignificant details like that. His face gave nothing away as i spoke but my words flowed out despite his face revealing nothing. When i was done, he merely nodded and told me that i could go back to the room that i had been assigned. That i should get some rest. I obeyed and went out of the room in a nervous manner. It did not take me too long to get to the house where i was staying.

I got into my bed. It felt good to be able to rest now that i was safe. There was nothing to worry about here. Nothing could get me. No wandering soul could reach me and try to kidnap me again. My room was safe. The entire afterlife was safe from them. Now, i could relax. I had not been able to sleep very much in the land of the living except for when i had been captured. For some reason, being captured just took a lot out of a person. I had not been able to stay awake then but maybe it had been because it was so boring. I am not kidding, being captured was about as exciting as eating a piece of bread without butter or any other topping. It was plain, dull. There was nothing spectacular or unusual about it at all. The only parts that were not boring were the parts where i was moving and not just thinking.

Maybe that is how people get tired, because their mind will not allow them to rest. Maybe that was the reason behind why i was so tired all the time since i had died. My mind had not let me rest properly and so i had gotten little sleep where my mind was concerned. Although, right now, as i lay in my bed, i felt so exhausted. It was as if the past few days had just caught up with me and were trying to drag me down into the dark abyss of sleep and the world of dreams. How wonderful it would be to just stay inside of my dreams and hide there all the time. Thinking of dreams and sleeping, my mind lazily drifted off into darkness in which i was finally able to get some much needed sleep.