Summer is the loneliest time. That sounds crazy....right? Summer's supposed to be the time where you see all your friends all the time. Summer's supposed to be the time for fun and adventures, and craziness, and so so so much laughter. So far this summer has been about two months long. Graduating and having two weeks of break before that has made it seem exponentially longer than a normal summer should be. In the next two months, almost all of my "friends" will be gone. Off to different states, studying what they love, figuring out life. I'll probably never see any of them again.
No matter how much I con myself into believing them, the "friends" when they say that they'll see me this summer, that they'll visit me. I've gotten to a point. A point where I've realized, that they all lied to me. Everyone is busy. Too busy for me. Specifically, me. They're not too busy for EVERYONE ELSE.
They say that they are busy. And they say that next week we'll be able to hang out. They say they need to get their shit together. They say all these things. Then they post. And I remember. They post pictures of them with our other friends. The ones also, too busy, with many excuses. And I remember. That I am nobody. And who was I kidding trying to convince myself that it wasn't true. The past two summer have taught me this lesson but still I sit. Everyone is at the beach, out on the water, going to parties. I am alone. In my room. Sitting in my bed. Watching my "friends" have fun, all without me.
Hope. Why does my heart decide to feel this emotion? Hope is my killer. Hope is killing me. Hope that one day I'll wake up and people will want me around. Hope that people will stop lying about wanting me around when their actions prove otherwise. Hope that I could just stop feeling because every part of me that feels hurts. Hope that it could all just go away, and hope that I could make it.
Instead, I sit in my bed alone. My phone filled with streaks from people who don't talk. Once again a reminder that people act like they care, but they don't. Summer sounds like fun. Doesn't it?
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Broken Girl
Ficção AdolescenteShe was stupid, and she was gullible. But she was hopeful that a better day would come. And she hoped to have the strength to get there.
