The Luggage // hemmings

Ch. 23: "Goodbye"

Luke

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  Well, who I was seeing, really.  I couldn't believe Jilly was here at the airport.  There were a lot of people at the airport, but I could easily spot her anywhere.  She was easily recognizable being the only one wearing neon blue shirt and black skinny jeans.  She stuck out in the crowd like a blue highlighter. 

"Luke, is that...?" Michael asked, and I nodded. 

"Hey, look, Kate's with her!" Ashton rejoiced, and he and Michael ran to greet her. 

Jilly broke into a run, which really wasn't that fast because she was short and generally a slow runner. 

I started running too, or actually walking really fast.  I was too nervous and happy to let go of my luggage handle, so I took it with me.  Jilly and I dodged people left and right.  The only thing on my mind was Jilly. 

I would take the risk with her.  I was going to tell her just how much I really loved her.  I was sure Kate and the boys had told her some extent it, but I'd never told her myself.  Even when I was going to ask her out the first time, I didn't really say it.  I'd just said that I loved her, not that I was in love with her. 

You see, there was a big difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.  Plain, old loving someone was simply being completely enamored by them, and loving everything about them.  When you just loved someone, you wanted to make that someone feel as much love as you could give them.  Just loving someone involved, at least to me, the more cliche aspects of relationships. 

But being in love with someone -- it made you want to hold that someone forever and make him or her (her, in my case of course) feel safe.  It meant that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person.  Every relationship had its problems, but if you were truly in love, you would overlook those problems.  You would forgive each other, and continue to love each other. 

I was in love with Jilly.  I loved her too, but the past couple of weeks with her made me realize that I was in love with her.  I knew we were young now, and we both still had lives to lead.  But in the future, if she was still in love with me, I would like to marry her. 

Jillian Hemmings.  I liked the sound of that. 

Although, first, I would have to date her.  And after a lot of thinking, some lectures from the boys, and hearing Jilly's words in my head on repeat every second of every minute of every hour, I finally saw how stupid I was being.  Jilly knew the risks of dating me: constant judgement from the fans, constant attack from the paparazzi, and constant weirdness from me. 

We were extremely close to each other, and Jilly got ready to throw her arms around me.  And she couldd have done it right then if my luggage hadn't had a spasm and knocked her off of her feet. 

I was finally able to let go of the handle, and I rolled my suitcase to the side as fast as I could.  I caught Jilly's hands before she could fall on her face.  She squeezed my hands and was able to get herself back on her feet. 

And we just stood there for what was beginning to feel like hours, still holding hands and staring at each other.  Her big blue eyes got even bigger, and her lips parted ever so slightly, like she was about to say something, but now she couldn't.  I wanted to tell her that I was in love with her, but seeing her again put me at a loss for words.  I was completely speechless. 

"Jilly, I--" I whispered.  And suddenly, I started to tear up.  I wrapped my arms around her and started sobbing uncontrollably like the big baby that I was.  "I was so...scared...scared that you would never want anything to do with me again..."