The Luggage // hemmings

Ch. 17: "What the Fuck, Kate?!"

Jilly

I didn't know what made him run away from me, but he did.  Luke ran away from me and left me on the playground.  No wonder my aunt never let me play on the playground; the other kids would always leave me. 

Luke left me.  I knew what he wanted to do, I wasn't a complete idiot.  I guess he didn't like me as much as everyone thought he did if he would just leave me like that. 

Maybe I was a complete idiot. 

I sat back on the swing.  Luke probably didn't even want me anyway.  He could get tons of prettier girls who weren't me anywhere he went.  I was just a fan anyway; it wasn't like what we had was real. It wasn't like we had anything in the first place. 

It wasn't like I actually believed that.  I thought I was special.  No, I was just being conceited.  I was another fan who thought the great Luke Hemmings could fall in love with me. 

Look how wrong I was. 

I wasn't supposed to cry.  It was stupid to cry over something stupid like this.  It was extremely pointless.  Luke was just another guy. 

No, he wasn't. 

Yes, he was. 

Don't cry like a lil bitch, I told myself, taking the pin Luke put in my hair.  I almost threw it across the playground.  I almost buried it.  I actually thought of getting rid of it. 

Instead, I clutched it to my chest. 

I flinched when I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder.  Quickly I shoved the pin into the back pocket of my jeans. 

"Jilly, it's just me," Kate said, making me standing up so she could pull me in for a big best friend hug.  My arms didn't seem to work so I couldn't hug her back, but Kate hugged me harder because of that.  "Let's just get back to the apartment."

I just nodded.  Kate walked me back to the car.  I was too emotionally unstable to drive, so Kate drove us home. 

It was a quiet car ride home.  That was what I needed: quiet. 

As soon as we got to the apartment, I went to my room, locked the door, and plopped down on my bed. 

"Jilly, I'm not going to let you sulk in there forever," Kate called through the door. 

"Fuck you, Kate, I'd rather stay here and shit myself than go outside ever again," I told her. 

"Cut the shit, Jilly, open up this damn door, and tell me what the fuck happened tonight," she ordered. 

I rolled off my bed, landing on the floor with a loud thud, and I caterpillar crawled myself to the door.  I reached up to the doorknob to unlock the door, and caterpillar crawled myself back to my bed. 

Kate entered my room with a big, slightly intimidating water gun. 

"Where the fuck did you get that?" I asked her, wiping my eyes. 

"Never mind where I got it.  The point is, if you don't cooperate with me and tell me whatever the fuck Luke did, I'll attack you with this water gun.  Make sense?" she said, pumping it again. 

"Kate, I told you I don't fucking -- WHAT THE FUCK, KATE?!" I screamed as Kate doused me with the water gun, though it felt more like I was being hosed.  Damn.

"Cooperate," she ordered, pumping the water gun again.  Fuck you, Kate.  "What happened?  Start from the beginning."

I had no choice but to tell her because I valued my life.  I went from Twilight movie reenactments to the grilled cheese sandwich to my nap to Luke taking me outside.