INFJ Me

The Beginning

You know, before this, I've always thought I'm weird because the way I feel things and reacted to them. My mind is always buzzing and I'm easily overwhelmed by my surrounding too. Sometimes they were too much that I actually considered there's something wrong with me. Like I have mental illness or something.

So the way I'm feeling. I'm too sensitive and feel too much even by the simplest thing. Others don't care but then why I could spend hours thinking about the matter over and over again? Over thinking but so mucn more. I hate it because I felt weak like it's so easy to discourage and make me feel down. I hate myself for being that way.

Why is it sometimes I was stucked with the need to be alone and away from everyone but then they left me I was suddenly offended? The need to be alone was so overwhelmed at that time (I don't how to manage it yet) to the point I became all moody and sour face to my best friends, they practically had to leave me alone and sometimes I ran away from them because I didn't want them to be offended with me in that state.

Even with my family and close friends, I feel like there's barrier between us. I feel weird like I was disordered somehow.

But then I did the test and everything finally made sense. I felt normal for the first time like it was written just for me. I feel understood. I'm not dismantled, I'm just different in a good way. I'm an INFJ.

Some people they don't understand why I'm obsessed with this. They don't know how it felt when no one can relate to you and you don't share it with anyone because afraid of what they think. I continued searching and I found a whole community like me and finally I feel belong. All the posts and articles written feel like they're talking to me.

Starting from that I learned how to embrace all of me. The strengths and weaknesses. Now, I can proudly say that I love all of me despite all the flaws.

Yes, we're hyper sensitive people and have unique way of processing our thoughts and feelings but they were also our strengths. Not only for INFJs out there, whoever you are, love yourself wholeheartedly and wait for no one to do it. Embrace your light and darkness, so you can finally be balanced and live your life to the fullest.

This is not poem, only random ramble. I hope somehow this help whoever read it. Thank you for reading this and believing in me. It is my honour to be able to share my story. Thank you, love you guys! (SHOUT OUT TO WAN, MY MOST LOYAL READERS AND GOOD FRIEND OF MINE! LOVE U ;) )

Ps: I'm always happy to talk to fellow INFJs :)

Love; ruzaie xoxox