INFJ Me

Embrace Them

Long time no write. There's always a thought and feeling need to be expressed but so little time and patience to make myself seat and write them. That is why I always have note applications in my phone (I have four currently lol). Each with different purpose; diary, journal,story,poem, random thoughts etc. 

Last week, I met a close friend of mine and she told me a secret of hers. She said I was the second person she told it about aside her best friend since high school and honestly I am quite proud and touched that she chose to talk to me about it. Coincidentally, that was the third time in nights that I had deep talk with people that I am close with lol. 

I am not going to spill what we talked about but I want to highlight something that she said that I am disagree with. She was facing big problem (trust me on this, please pray for her :)) and she said that she did not like to think about her problem and avoid it. There is nothing she could do to help with her problem, so she just stop herself from it.

I (as infj or not) believe that it is not the best idea. Every time I had a problem, I spent a lot of time dwelling and thinking of it. Finding the solution, figuring out what I was feeling and what was the best for me, so that I can decide on it once for all. Because I feel that if I do not do that, if the same kind of problem rises up again, I will one more time falling in a hard place and maybe messier than before. It is in my nature that when I come into a decision, I will stick by it and stop looking back to the past and all the what ifs.

Embrace our feelings. Feel all the pain, hurt, confusion, anger, disappointment and all the whirlwind emotions we are having. Let ourselves consume them all for a moment and then, kiss them goodbyes and let them go forever. We have to feel to make sure it is real, no denial in ourselves left, so we can take a step forward to our healing and solution. Even if there is nothing we could no like my friend's case, there will always be feelings that need our attention and care. 

Treat them. Give them the attention they deserved but do not spoil on them. Let ourselves feel because we are just humans after all. 

After taking all the time you need, step forward and make your decision. This process could be hours, days, weeks and it all depends on you. You know how much time you need to heal.

In my experience, there was a situation when I was forced to make a hard decision that involved quite big part of my future and risked a lot of relationships with people around me. I dwelled on the problem for a few weeks (or maybe a month and half hmm). Making the decision may be the hardest but figuring out what I was feelings and where I wanted them to take me were the longest. I went into my stress cycle (maybe I'll write about this later); some days I eat a lot, few weeks I lost my appetite, I slept late every night and woke up at almost lunch. My sleep cycle got ruined. I went M.I.A (missing) and avoided all human interactions (exclude my family ofc lol) because I felt really drained out from all the conflicts and thinking and lost my interest. I asked everyone that I could trust from their opinion and after weeks, I made my decision. Tell you what, I felt so much lighter and more free after it.

So, what I am trying to say is; don't run away. From whatever it is. Face it now, so you can get it settles down and forever. The power is in your hand. I know it is hard but struggles will still come later or sooner, better face right here, right now, right?

Wherever you are, I pray that you have the courage to feel and chase after your freedom and happiness. 

Until later. Lots of love for all of you and thank you. xoxox

naiorim