noticed | dolan twins

forty-four

serenity

it was nice out today, so i thought i would go for a run. i have been quite crowded in my mind that maybe i needed to get out. as i started my music and left, i felt refreshed. i did need to get out. what good was sitting thinking and pouting going to do for me. i knew i couldn't hide away from ethan forever. and grayson. i couldn't stop thinking of him and everything he told me that one day. that one call. i had no idea if it was going to effect ethan and i. my heart and mind were at war. my heart wanted ethan, but my mind told me grayson said was he did because it wasn't working out. but all couples fight. but i guess not all couples have to split up for their others to go on tour. so much for a refreshing walk. the only solution to my problem was talking to ethan or grayson about how i felt. but how could i? who did i even want? i couldn't leave them waiting forever, it wasn't fair.

walking back home, same thoughts flooding my mind i walked past the spot. the spot were i ran into ethan, when i was having the same dilemma. stuck between two boys. now here i was standing in the spot where ethan kissed me. the spot where i knew it was him. all i could do was wish ethan was here with me. to feel his kiss one more time. i felt a stray tear fall onto my cheek. i quickly wiped it and realized that this was obviously a sign. why else would i end up in the same spot i did before, when i was having the same problem.

i guess i was walking very slow because the sun started to set. a beautiful orange painted the sky, reminding me when i first hung out with the twins. when grayson kissed me. why was the universe doing this to me? showing me signs for both of these boys. i needed to choose one. i was in love with ethan, but i was hurt. why did grayson have to say all the right things, and say he was still in love with me. so many ways making my life more complicated.

walking into my house, still thinking of the time i kissed both the boys i fell in love with, trying to determine which one was the best for me. which one was better for me. which one i really loved.