keeping hope.

chapter 4: living the life.

chandler and I dated for a little over a

month. I loved

every minute of it. I didn't think we

we're ever going

to break up. it was the greatest feeling

ever. I didn't

want to lose him.

I checked my phone just to see if

anyone had text

me and some one had, chandler. he

texted me, but

as I read it my heart sank. he wanted to

break up. I

kept asking him if there was anything

that I could do

or even talk about it. but there was

nothing I could

do. it was officially over. there was no

more

"together." I never thought I would

stop crying.

what hurt me the most is when he went

back to his

other girlfriend. two days after we

broke up. I think

I cried more over that then breaking

up. he was

obviously talking to her while we dated.

you don't

"fall in love" with someone in two days.

it's not

possible.

I tried not to talk to chandler but I

couldn't help it. I

still had tons of feelings for him, even if

he did date

his ex after we broke up. I couldn't get

over him and

he knew it. maybe guys still talk to their

exes. I don't

know. I'm not a guy, I don't know what

runs through

their mind.

I was so heartbroken because I didn't

know if we

"had a future." I didn't know if we

would ever talk, or

be friends again. that's what I hate

about

relationships. you don't know if they

will ever be in

your life again, and that's super scary

to me. I love

everyone I meet. that's just my

personality. but I

really was serious about this boy. I

thought we would

last. but that's just my dream I guess.

and

sometimes dreams aren't reality. that's

just the real world and how things

work.