LETHAL (Devil's Shadow MC, BOOK 1) SAMPLE

Chapter 5: LAST GOODBYE

Picture of Gwen Knight

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🎵...BANG, SHOTS FIRE,

PAIN, IS WHAT YOU DESIRE...🎵

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GRACE

"Fight, mija. Fight."

In my head, the words seemed believable. Like I can fight my way through anything. And it has been like this for the last two years. Death had nothing on me. I wasn't afraid to touch death, I didn't fear getting hurt, and I sure as hell didn't care how far I went to see people on their knees begging for mercy.

Then why it was so hard to get rid of those cold hazel eyes?

"When are we going to meet Cornwall? You do realize we have to pay him to shut his mouth, right?" The tension in Josh's voice is alarming. But he always worries. So that's nothing new. It is safe. It is home. Not like that night in the club. Josh couldn't match those eyes, those cold, unforgiving eyes.

Right...Cornwall.

We were talking about Cornwall.

"I'll do it today right after I come back from seeing Gwen." Hearing Gwen's name does something to him. If he was worrying earlier, now he relaxes with a smile on his face that even I can't help but share.

If Josh was my lifeline then Gwen was his.

It was pretty fucked up how we used each other, but at the end of the day, Gwen was the one connecting us all. But she was a pretty special girl.

"I got all the information about the Devils last night. Do you want me to run them down now?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

"I'm ready." I know he's giving me a chance to refuse. To think again. Out of every other clubhouse I've burned down to the ground, Devil's Shadow seems to be the only one that is dangerous, more ruthless than any other.

Even cops are scared to deal with them for fuck's sake.

"You know I am," I repeat just to stop him from wondering if I will be able to handle them. I know I can.

"Okay. Okay." He raises his hands as if in surrender. "I know you are. But that doesn't stop me from freaking out or worrying if the next MC will be our last ones."

A strangled groan leaves my lips. "Josh—"

"Fine, fine. From what I gathered, Lethal is the President of the club, his great-great-grandfather being the founder. For some reason, they don't have a club VP anymore. His Secretary handles most of his jobs when he's not around who is known as Sniper, the only cool guy of the club as I heard. Their Sergeant-at-Arms is Hawk, who only ever stays when there's the church. Otherwise, he lives outside of the clubhouse. Their Road Captain, Reaper, is a manwhore. Most of the time, he's with women at the bar or in a strip club. Tucker and Rider don't live at the clubhouse either. They mainly work as Treasurer or Gunner, I'm not so sure. Then there's Foxy-" He stops huffing. "That woman is known as the troublemaker. Don't know what her job in the club is, but people usually avoid her to be in safe hand."

My gaze drifts over to him, his brown narrowed eyes pulling away from the file in his hands. I don't bother him when he pauses to look over at me. I can't smother the gasp when he changes the conversation either.

"You want to tell Gwen about your plan?" He asks breathing in the cold air. It's near December, the white snow making its way everywhere covering up in white. It's a month of happiness for everyone, but for me, it's a deadline.

Destroy all those MC's before Christmas.

Stop thinking.

I force myself not to think about that. To not look back to see how far I've fallen from the girl I once was.

"Josh, I don't want to tell her. And it will be best if you don't say a word either." He turns to look at me distraught, so I explain farther. "She would never want me to go down that road. She never saw me kill. She knew me as the girl who hoped to become a dancer one day. I don't want to taint that mind of hers."

Understanding washes over his face and he nods, grinning. "So, should I call the center and tell them that you're coming for a visit?"

"Yes."

I can't wait to see my little sister.

***

Springfield Private Rehabilitation Center.

The big and bold name mocks me of what's coming the moment Josh leaves me to its entrance. Making sure that my gun is loaded, I enter into the center. The place is void of any color or people, just the way I like it. Though that doesn't make it easier to digest why I am here. Why my sister is staying so far from Southside. So, yes, I want to worry, to take her away from where no one can find her. Instead, I savor the fact that she is safer here than anywhere near me.

"Hello, Ms. Evans. Are you here for Ms. Gloria Evans?" The voice breaks me out of my thoughts. Smiling at the older woman, I nod. Giving me an ID card, she gestures to my sister's cabin.

No matter how many time I come here, the suffocation doesn't go away. I have trouble breathing, imagining her staring at me with those empty eyes.

No, I can't do this.

But I have to. God, I have to see her one last time before I go to the Devils.

Opening the door of the cabin, I am reminded of why I was too damn unsure to come here. It is hard to process what I am seeing. Her dark hair was usually pinned by a band but now it's loose, running down her shoulder. Her dark eyes are locked on me, a hint of recognition on them. But her lips remain shut.

I am already inside the room walking toward her when she tightens her grip around the wheelchair, a telltale sign that she is nervous.

"Hey, Gwen," I whisper softly.

I know she can't say a word. But she will hear. She was always a good listener. Even before this happened to her, she used to be my human diary. She knew about the crush I had on a boy in the high school and when I accidentally set the kitchen on fire...she knew my every embarrassing moment.

"How are you, sis?"

She tries to give me a small smile, touching her heart. I hate myself for not remembering her voice. Then I could have imagined her saying how she was. I spill out all that was happening in our life excluding the plan of bringing down every motorcycle clubs. I don't think she could handle that. So, I tell her how Josh is. I tell her about my nonexistent dance classes, I feed her lies about my non-existent work. After stumbling over the words, I feel the first sign of dried tears running down my chin. Then, I cry. I cry for our loss. I cry for her. Saying sorry over and over for doing this to her. For betraying her trust to stay safe. Will she hate me if she ever knew?

Cause I would.

I love her so much that it freaking hurts.

"After Christmas, I will take you home, little sis," I promise, kissing her forehead. "You will walk again, laugh again. I will hear your voice."

Then I deliver her the words I know will give her the strength to get better. "Josh is waiting for you to return. Just you hold on for a little while."

Josh and I might've fucked, used each other for pleasure, we might have shared kisses, we might be fiercely protective of each other but our heart will always belong to Gwen. As Gwen had Josh's. But mine...No one held mine.

And, no one can ever will.