All Seeing Blindness

Chapter One

...two plus two is four, minus one that's three, quick math...

</oh, I thought it was eight you son of a bi.. bianca> I almost scream, this is like the hundredth time I've snoozed my phone alarm.

Normal *beep beep* alarm does nothing to me, it only makes my sleep more delicious so I have to use my phone alarm and I assure you that the best way to make your favourite song your must hated song is to use it as your alarm tone. Man's not Hot used to be my favourite song, now anywhere I hear it I just instinctively start looking for a button to press to silence it.

I drag my lazy ass out of bed and straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth, come to think of it the movies I watch and the novels I read, they only show the actors and actresses taking showers, don't they brush their teeth? They only do at night but that'll be a thought to ponder on later, now I need to get to school.

<\Morning momma>

<\Ted, is that you?>

I smile, just the way I like to start my day, with sarcasm.

<\No, it's Jonny English> I replied

<\Is it your mother you're talking to like that>

I roll my eyes, classic Nigerian mother, always making you feel guilty.

<\Of course not, God forbid I'll talk to my mother like that>

<\Better, and you're late for school >she reminds me

<\It's not my fault momma, you know I have a medical condition called laziness>

<\Yes I know, and only the cane of your teachers can heal you>

How is it my fault, I have to get to school by 7:30 in the morning, that's too early for a child like me, and I can't leave till 4pm

When I was a junior, I will wake up by 3am, brush and take my bath then go back to bed and when I wake up in the morning, I'll be feeling like I haven't brushed my teeth. Thank God am a senior now, one of my friends is the punctuality perfect.

<\Well then, off you go child>

She hands me my money for lunch and i peck on her cheeks. I wait till I get to the door before saying...

<\We've talked about this momma, am no longer a child, am an adult>

I quickly close the door and run down the stair before she starts the *Mr. Grown Up* speech where I have to "take care of myself". I mean I bath myself, I wear my clothes myself, I eat with the spoon by myself and I ask the gurls out on dates by myself.

What else must a nigga do to " take care of himself" *scoofs*

My neighbourhood, the only residential area where you'll see a car painting factory...beside a house...beside a school, but on a brighter note I get to see dope cars there all the time.

Plus I like my morning walk to school because I get to reflect and meditate about my life. Am currently trying to be honest and brave for the next green lantern ring and I also hate swearing, I just fuc*ing hate it.

The school bus pull over beside me and before I could even open my mouth to tell the driver that I prefer walking, he says

<\Look kid, if you haven't got a pass, there's nothing I can do bout it, you'll just have to leg it>

<\Relax bro, I just wanted to tell you that I want to *leg it* today>

I shake my head <\Nigerians have got no chill>

He closes the door and speeds off, probably to look for a student without a pass who will bribe him.
But seriously what kind of student prefers trekking to the school bus.

That type of student is me, I just love the fresh air and the silence, it helps me to clear my hea....

<\Teeeeeeeed>

And there goes clearing my head. I smile even before turning to look at the person calling me because I recognise the voice of my best friend in the whole world, Glory. She's a lil bit shorter than I am, fair, perfect legs, quite the hottie. Most of the guys in my class are drooling over her and are usually surprised that am her best friend not her boy friend.

We get to school and luckily for us the school assembly was just starting, as we're about entering the class, the new transfer student, a girl called beth, beth-what I dunno, probably Bethlehem.

She's very cute too rivaling glory and right now she's coming my way and smiling at me.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that am a wimp or am afraid to talk to a gurl, in fact am actually very popular in the gurls circle. I've had girls who would die for me...

Three years ago.

If you keep stalking me Ted, I'll kill myself

I've had girls who even said they'll kiss me even if I was a frog...

Two years ago.

Ted, I'll rather kiss a frog than kiss you.

And I've had girls who have loved me to the point of eloping with me...

The same romantic year.

If you keep coming to my house ted, am going to run away from home.

So you see, am quite popular with the ladies but with her I just feel a different type of connection, it's like seeing a hamburger with your name on it and trust me am not letting this burger pass me by.

*Way to go perv* the tiny voice in my head says, I think am going cukoo

<\Hey Ted, glory>Beth says with a mountain moving smile

<\Hi>we reply simultaneously

<\So Ted, I need your help with something...> she starts

<\Yea sure, anything at all, I mean with what>

Clap for yourself

<\You remember our creative art assignment...>

<\Yeah, a studio prototype on cardboard>

<\I dunno if you can help me do mine>

She makes a poor resemblance of a puppy dog's face but which is still good enough to pull me in.

<\Sure>I reply

<\How do you want it, long or short, fat or slim. Just say how you want it and ill pound everything together to your satisfaction>

Really

<\Emmm not really, just make it a standard square>

<\Alright, standard square it is, so a date?>

<\What..>

<\I mean a date for me to give the assignment to you cos I can be really fast or slow, I really take my time to satisfy...>

<\Oh, anytime before the deadline is okay with me>

<\Before the deadline it is>

<\Thanks Ted, I really appreciate>she says before giving me that leg weakling smile and walking away.

<\Hmm, nice backup, a date>says my hot bestie, she nods her head

<\I'll add that to my list of backups>