Off My Mind- Free Rein (Pin X OC)

Chapter Six: Opening up

I rode next to Elvis, Pin's horse as we walked along the private beach Pin had just next to his house. "You know that pony is really lucky to have you." I said, referring to the moor pony, looking over to Pin to see him smile slightly.

"I hope it works out." Pin said glancing over to me.

"It will." I assured, leaning over to him for a second before sitting back in my saddle correctly.

We rode in silence for a while, just enjoying each others company, something I find us doing quite a lot. There's comfort is being in his presence; he puts me at ease just knowing he's with me. I can't remember a time I have felt so relaxed before. I feel as though I can tell him anything, everything about me.

My mind quickly made up that I wanted to be honest with Pin, tell him more about myself instead of keeping it tucked away. Nobody has ever known the real me and it's time someone has. All this time, throughout all these years, I have put up this fake front, insinuating everything is perfect in my life when it is far from that. For once in my life I want someone to know me completely, to know all the flaws and baggage I have.

I can't drop everything all at once on him though; so, I thought I start with the beginning, my mother. "Can I tell you something?" My question coming out with hesitation. Even though I know I can trust Pin and I'm ready to tell him, that doesn't stop me from being nervous.

By the tone of my voice he could probably tell how serious I was. Pin looked confused with the sudden seriousness so he halted his horse and turned to give me his undivided attention. "Of course."

I took a deep breath, looking up at the sky as if that could help me in anyway put away my nerves. Now that I was ready to open up a part of my life to someone else I didn't even know where to start or how to start. And then there's the thought going through my head of do I really want to open up and tell someone else my about the skeletons I have hiding in my closet because once it is out there it is out there and I can't do anything to take back my words.

I push that aside, knowing that I need to tell someone, release it from my chest and stop bottling everything up. And so with another deep, shaky breath I allow myself to speak my truth. "If we're being honest, I'm not allowed to ride. My dad forbids everything from me. I'm not allowed to leave the house or have friends or basically do anything else besides stay home. He expects me to stay all day and clean the house. Last time he found out I rode he..." I stopped myself short, not wanting to mention the beating I got that day. "was not happy with me. My dad hasn't been the nicest person ever since my mother left, but he's all I have. I have no other family and the stables are the only friends I've really ever really had." I then looked over to Pin with tears in my eyes. "I've never felt as comfortable and safe as you make me feel Pin. That's why I'm telling you this; I want someone to really know me and not just the happy front I put up."

Pin looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry." Was all he said, all he really could say. I mean what else would you say when hearing that someone's mother abandoned her. There's nothing really to say except that you're sorry.

He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, something I didn't want. I don't anyone's sympathy but coming from Pin it didn't seem to bother me as much. Here I am exposing myself and I wasn't completely unhappy about it. I gulped, hating talking about my past but happy to get it out. "My mother left when I was young. She was there for me until I was about 4 and then decided that motherhood...wasn't for her. So she left in the middle of the night without saying anything." I couldn't face Pin's upset expression anymore so I turned to face the sea.

"My mum left too. I was 5." He stated, his tone coming out with anger. I quickly turned back to face him, not expecting him to have the same kind of mother. "My real name is Peter, Peter Hawthorn, but my mother called me Pin because that's all I could say. When she left all I had from her was my name, Pin." I decided that if I didn't want the sympathy look then Pin probably doesn't want it either.