𝙃𝙄 𝘿𝘼𝘿𝘿𝙔 | TAEKOOK

034 | losing

-

Instead of staying home like Jeongguk was slightly hoping for, Jin decided to tag along since Hoseok was his friend and he did want to party, as well as keep an eye on Jeongguk.

Throughout the car ride, Jeongguk kept rubbing his palms onto his black ripped jeans, trying to remove the glossy sheen covering them. Yoongi said to go straight up stairs as soon as he arrived. He knew Yoongi wouldn't try something Jeongguk didn't okay with verbal confirmation, but he felt himself shiver at the thought of being alone in a room with him.

After a month of ignorance, they would finally be sitting face to face again, officially ending it.

Jeongguk always knew Yoongi was a coward when it came to him, so he wasn't surprised when he was able to avoid him for a whole three - four weeks. That was just Yoongi, a sneaky grumpy cat.

The thought made him smile fondly, remembering when they first became friends and he would usually rest his head on Jeongguk's lap and take a quick nap, only to be energized to head to his studio for hours on end. Then he would come back to Jin's apartment late at night were Jeongguk would already be sitting on the couch. He would notice him, shuffle his shoes and coat off and make route for Jeongguk. He would yawn, take a seat and then fall over to place his head in his lap so Jeongguk could run his fingers through his mint strands. He wondered what hair colour he might have changed it too.

The scary thing about all of this was Yoongi could possibly leave his life again, for good this time. He didn't want to end the friendship they established before their "loving" relationship started. He wouldn't see him dye his hair a different shade, or fall asleep in different places, or get excited when he produced a whole new song.

It wasn't just that. He would possibly miss out on Taehyung's life as well.

Maybe if things had gone right, they could be meeting here tonight for the first time in real life and Jeongguk would run into Taehyung's arms and their relationship would progress into love. If they had somehow became a couple, or best friends, then Jeongguk wouldn't miss the chance to play Overwatch with him, or show him a few cool animes that he actually might like, or teach him how to b-boy. There was so much that Jeongguk could miss, that even if he didn't experience it, he already wanted it back. Not just a memory or a fleeting hope, but he wanted to relive these experiences that have never happened.

"Are you ready Jeongguk?" Jin asks from the drivers side. It takes time for Jeongguk to answer, his tongue heavy against his mouth. He swallows and nods yes, opening his door and stepping out. Cool night air greets his sweaty neck and he feels slightly refreshed for whatever is about to go down in that house.

"Let's get it." Jeongguk says to himself, throwing up a half-hearted gang sign before he takes a deep breath and walks through the crowded door. Somehow, saying his little phrase gave him empowerment.

As he enters, Jin hyung trailing behind him, he can feel the power of the vibrations against his chest and through the soles of his feet. The music is blasting, turned all the way to the loudest setting. Jeongguk can see the strobe lights going across the room and over everyones body. If he didn't think any better, this was a night club he just entered.

"I'll be going Hyung, have fun." Jeongguk shouts over the music. Jin nods in return and Jeongguk watches as his hyung makes his way onto the dance floor, already joining someone that looked like they were having a hard time doing their own dance moves. He watched a few seconds more as the two struggled to get into the beat but seemed to be having fun with eachother. Hopefully his Hyung can get laid tonight.

Jeongguk pushes his way through the crowd, trying to reach the stairway to where Yoongi would be waiting in the first room on the right. He could imagine him, sitting there with his possibly new hair and uninterested demeanor. But his eyes always gave him away. You would know when he held affection for someone, or when he was irritated and angry just through his eyes. He was always so easy to read.

Jeongguk grabbed onto the rails and took a deep breath, knowing this would have to end for good. He couldn't be scared and back out now.

What he was scared of? Losing Yoongi again.

-

Jeongguk takes his time turning the door knob, steadying his breathing. Once it cracks open, he sees Yoongi on the edge of the bed, his fingers clasped together as he stared out the window encased in long white drapes.

Being dramatic was Jin's thing, so when Jeongguk opened the doors it wasn't all slow motion and there wasn't cherry blossoms falling or some shit like that. It was just two males, finally facing their problems that should've been dealt with a long time ago. It was better late than never.

He stepped in, surprised to see a mop of black hair on Yoongi's head. Ever since Jeongguk knew him, Yoongi appreciated trying out different haristyles and colors. Not once has he seen him in black, except for old photos from when he was younger.

"Hey Yoongi." Jeongguk starts, and he sends a small smile his way.

Yoongi smiles back, albeit sadly and pats the empty spot next to him.

Jeongguk was ready to end this, but what he was scared of? Losing Yoongi again. He would never be ready for that.