Thoughts and Tangents

My Problems Uncut

So what you are about to read is just some metaphors and imagery that I thought about my mental problems like anxeity, some what depression and other things. All of this is what I wrote down on the spot about how I was feeling. It's suppose to read in a poem like way but as I kept typing I realize I can't explain everything in a poem and cut it off at the end. The next "chapter" will be me explaining what I mean with everything.

For me life seems weird

That's something probably everyone would say right?

For me its hard to explain

Some days just arent the best

And some are

Its me

Standing in a farm no more of a field

A field so large big and empty

Yeah sure there are building and stuff but they are miles away

Some are closer

Some are farther

And some time I get stuck

For no reason

I dig a hole that I just can't get out of

And Every time I'm in this hole

I notice how far down I've gotten

How dark it is

And I always yell for help

And some one always comes

But they almost never help me out

Because as soon as they see I need help

I hide myself

So they cant help me

I make it so they cant help me

And why?

Why? Or better yet who?

who would call for help just to hide when their hero comes

I would

Because I am afraid

I'm afraid to tell them what happened

Because maybe I did something wrong or maybe I deserved it maybe it was my fault and I'm wasting their time

Maybe I just want

"attention"

and I keep digging

Deeper and darker

Scarier and dangerous

Because I want "attention"

the trapped who cried help

I didnt

I do but I didnt

I don't choose to hide

But their is a voice inside

Not even a voice

Its like a whole world stuck up there in me

Telling me this and that

Everything is dangerous and nothing dangerous

You are going to get hurt something is going to happen today tomorrow

Its coming for you

And there's nothing you can do but tell yourself

Yes you have to tell yourself that its nothing and you'll be fine

Because if you told anyone else you

need to grow up

Take a chill pill

Stop being a kid

Stop freaking out over nothing

As if I had a choice

That I can stop the gears in my head

Tell them to stop making me be frozen in fear

Stop making me imagine these things

Stop making me think

Stop

Just stop

But I am still in that hole that is now my home

Where I will be forever

Because my mind has its own.