Thoughts and Tangents

Anxiety

So a lot people ask what I do when I freak out... Ha just kidding.
No one asked me.
Everyone I've told about how insanely bad I have anxiety I get laughed at, joked about,or they don't even believe me.
Sometimes I don't believe me until I freak out.
And my anxiety is the one trending on twitter about omg I hope Bobby likes this shade of purple on my face anxiety.
Althought I do have slightly social anxiety, but no today is about my anxiety anxiety. Like paranoia anxiety but I dont know its hard to explain.
So when I'm alone or no ones in sight I sometimes panic if I realize it.
Like if I know I'm alone I panic. I think that any tiny sound is someone breaking in to the house to kill me
My heart beats so fast and my body doesnt know if it should run or not. It's crazy. Usually I would call one of my friend but its 4 AM who would be awake? I don't want to bother anyone so ran to my sister I panicked so much. I thought she was sleeping in my parents room so I ran there first. She was there I panicked even more. I thought first that something happened to her. Then I calm my self a little and ran to her room and she sleeping. I'm still freaking out but I cant go back to the living room until daylight. I'm too afraid. Its absoluting burning in my room but I cant leave it. I dont feel safe anywhere but my room.
My room is in thw middle of the house and the window is protected and then the dogs are in front of it. They are also covered with thick curtains and I never see the light of day. But it makes me feel better.
I don't know how I'm going to deal with this!
Its driving me crazy that I'm so paranoid that some one is trying to murder me and is in my house. But I cant stop myself . Once I realize it I freak out, at that point I cant even try and distract myself because ill be extremely aware of any noises and freak at everything.
Welp my life is in shambles.
Tune in next week to find out if I freak out over nothing again.
Anyway, later✌.