Yours Not Mine

Chapter 6

After class the next day, Matt was walking with Faith back to her dorm room.

"I got a question," he said.

"Shoot,"

"What's Mount Zion?"

"What?"

"In Psalm...125, it says people who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which can't be moved. Is that a metaphor or is that an actual mountain? I've never heard of it and it's in there more than once,"

"You read the Bible?" Faith asked, apparently not paying attention to his question.

"Wanna say that a little louder?" he asked, looking around.

"Sorry, I just...what was your question?"

"Where's Mount Zion, I mean, if it's a real mountain,"

"Oh. I don't know,"

"What? You're Catholic, aren't you supposed to know this stuff? You guys are more orthodox than other Christians, I thought you were educated,"

"I'm sorry," Faith replied with a shrug, not knowing what he expected. "There's a lot I don't know, believe it or not, but I'm working on it. So...what exactly were you doing reading the Bible?" she asked, trying to hide a smirk.

Matt was silent for a moment. "Educational purposes. Obviously, you don't know that much, somebody's gotta...learn stuff."

Faith nodded and smiled, "Okay,"

"Shut up,"

"I didn't say anything," she laughed. "I have a feeling you're starting to like the whole 'Christian thing',"

"Well, you're wrong," he corrected.

"I might be. I'd love for my believer disease to rub off on you, but in the end, it's His not mine,"

"You say that a lot. What do you mean, 'His not yours'?"

"We have free will, but the outcome of our actions is all God," she said with a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes. "No matter what I want to happen, His will - not mine - be done."

When they got to her room, Faith stopped at the door and turned to look at Matt. "I've been praying for you," she said. "Maybe one day, you'll be reading for more than just educational purposes," she concluded, then went inside.

Matt stood in front of the closed door, feeling as if words were left unsaid or deeds were left undone. The unknown feeling of tingling and nervousness came over him again, this time more intense than before. Without thinking, he knocked on the door. As soon as Faith opened the door and he saw her face, he said, "Help me."

She welcomed him inside and asked what the problem was.

"When I was a kid," Matt started, "I was really convinced my parents hated each other. My dad spent all his time away from home cheating on my mom and she let him. She knew and she just let him cheat on her over and over. I would ask my mom time after time why they didn't just get a divorce. She told me that at the end of the day, it was his family he was coming home to, not those women. And to her that was a good enough reason to forgive. I, on the other hand, didn't find it that simple. I grew up resenting my dad and our relationship's all screwed up. My mom doesn't believe in God. At least, I'm pretty sure she doesn't, she's never been to church or prayed or anything. My mom is literally the kindest most warm hearted person I've ever known in my entire life. But she doesn't believe in God, she knows nothing about Him. Why can't she go to Heaven? Is she gonna burn in Hell, despite being the best mother, and the best wife, and the best woman alive?" Matt's eyes brimmed with tears. "I mean, what happens to all those people who have just never heard of God or Heaven? They're just gonna die and suffer in Hell? What if it's not their fault?"