Lovely ∝ Thomas Shelby

Chapter 1; Don't cross the line.

"We need to move. Now!" I pointed my finger in the direction of the underground tunnel, men following in the direction I had ordered them to go in.

"They're coming for us. We won't make it out!" A man with a broken arm stops in front of me, sheer panic etched across his face.

"You listen to me and you listen good." I grab his shirt in my fist and pull him towards me, his eyes staring back at me full of worry. "My job is to get you men out of here and back home to safety, and if you don't think I'm fucking capable then you can go back to the fucking Germans!" My voice was raised over the distant German orders not far from us as the injured man began to nod. "Now, get in the fucking tunnel!" I rip my fist away from his shirt and he is quick to follow my orders, running into the tunnel with the other men.

I follow suit, climbing into the small tunnel, but my shoulder is grabbed and I'm pulled straight back out.

I look up and see one of the German soldiers as he points the barrel of his gun at my face. I quickly kick my leg up and knock the rifle from his hands, also making him fall to the ground. I pull the knife from my boot as I quickly stab the soldier in the side of his throat, letting the blood seep out onto the mucky ground.

I stand back to my feet panting heavily as I begin to make my way towards the tunnel with the several injured, British men inside.

I let out a small yelp as I feel a hand grab my throat from behind. My yelp soon turns to a blood curdling scream as the feeling of a sharp knife penetrates my stomach -

I immediately sit up, my body full of sweat and the blanket I had draped over me now stuck to my body like glue.

"Effie?" I look to my left, the brown eyes of my sister staring at me in concern. I pant slightly before removing the blanket from my body and walking over to her bed. "Did you have a nightmare again?" I kneel down at her bedside and pull the blanket up to her chin, my hand brushing over her forehead in comfort.

"Yes," I tell her, giving her a small smile. "It's okay though, it's only a dream." But it wasn't. It was completely real and I was reliving it every single night.

"Okay." She nodded as she closed her eyes again. "Mum will keep you safe."

I watched her as she fell back asleep, not feeling comfortable until I heard her small snores. I stand back to my feet and enter the small kitchen as I take a cigarette from the packet laying on the counter. Lighting it as quickly as I could, relief washed over me at the first inhale. It helped me cope when I felt uneasy.

I hated my nightmares. I barely ever got any sleep and when I did, the nightmare would drag me back to the one place I wanted so desperately to forget. And it doesn't stop even when I'm awake. The dark thoughts and flashbacks are always there, taunting me while I work or try to just have a normal life.

Maybe I was never destined to have a normal life, but I hoped that wasn't the case. I needed a normal life, for Jessica at least. She deserved to have a normal life and not the life our parents gave to me.

I placed my free hand on my stomach. The same place the knife goes through every night, the pain dull but still there nonetheless. My mind was gone, feeling feelings that aren't even there.

I just needed this emotional pain to end.

***

"I'll be back in a few hours, okay?" I told Jess as I'm crouched down in front of her.

"I hate when you're gone." She pouted and threw her arms around my neck as I tightly hugged her back.

"I know, but it isn't long. Be good for Lizzie now, okay?" I take her shoulders and pull her back, giving her a stern look as she nods.