The words never meant much that's not how I loved, it was when she stroked my hair, when she thought I was asleep, that I knew she really did.
• • •
Drinks.
Whiskey.
Bar.
He could barely even sit straight, trying to see through his blurry vision, what he was aware of, was Madison the blabbing peacock.
She hadn't stopped talking with her squeaky voice ever since she had found him wasted here, and he didn't know how to explain to her that he wasn't hearing her.
"Tony, please listen to me." Her tone was desperate, but he couldn't even concentrate on the words.
He didn't even want to.
"Madison, for the love of god, just stop talking. Stop talking." He groaned, massaging his head.
"She lost the baby, Tony," She whispered, ready to break his heart, "She had a miscarriage."
"Don't mind me. Just keep talking." He corrected his last request quickly, and stared at her with wide eyes.
"It was a few weeks after she left for Chicago. She was stressed, with her company, and..."
"Me." He struggled to form the word, because he had finally realised that it wasn't her that killed their baby, no, it was him.
"It's not your fault, Tony. This, it wasn't either of your faults, she doesn't blame you."
"But I blame myself!" He snapped, moving his hand, accidentally hitting his glass, forcing it to shatter on the ground, "How could you possibly believe that it isn't my fault?"
Grinding his teeth together, he shut his eyes in frustration, and grief, and nodded for her to continue.
"Jace said that all he saw was blood. He thought that she hurt herself, but when they went to the hospital, the baby was...no longer." Madi was getting chocked up talking about this.
"He was there?"
And that was it, Tony Stark had reached the limit.
He was one hundred percent sure that he couldn't hate himself more than he did, that he couldn't curse his existence more.
"Yes. He helped her-"
"He helped her deal with the loss of my child. With the loss of our child. It should have been me, Madi. God, I fucking hate myself. I should have been there." He tightened his grip on his hair, as he pulled, the frustration was extreme.
"She never meant to hurt you, and I'm telling you this because you need to understand-" he cut her off quickly, he didn't want to understand.
He didn't want to add onto his pain, his regret, his insecurities.
His mind wandered back to Jace, and he kept picturing him with her.
Helping her.
Soothing her.
Loving her...
"I have to go." He stumbled his way outside, swaying slightly with the rushing movement.
"Tony..." she grabbed his arm.
"Why did it have to be me?" He breathed out.
She was confused.
"Why did have to be me that broke her heart?" Staring at a random car, he exhaled, his mind surprisingly clearer than before.
"She deserves better than me, and as much as I hate him, I know he deserves her."
"She wasn't ever going to leave you, and she isn't ever going to choose anyone else. Not Jace, not any other man, but you need to fucking move your drunk ass over to her, and prove to her that you can be the man she knows you can be." Gripping his arm roughly, she exhaled.
"Fix it, Tony. Fix this. You said you would."
Madison was well aware that she had just betrayed her friend, that she did something Evelyn told her not to, but she needed to explain.
She couldn't let Evelyn ruin her life anymore.
She deserved to be happy.
And that man was her happiness.
Tony Stark was her happiness, and who was she to stand back and watch her push him away.
"I did." He nodded.
"Great, now that I've knocked some sense into you, let's get you to her."
Madi kept on walking, and walking, not noticing the fact that he hadn't moved an inch.
"I mean talk about silly, right? You guys are..." she frowned, then spun around to glare at his fixed figure.
"Tony, move your ass!"
When he stood there emotionless, she stalked towards him.
"Tony?"
His chest rose and fell with every harsh breath that he took.
His eyes were glossy, and his fists were clenched.
"I...I'm sorry." He repeated over and over again, as he paced in his place, his hands rubbing his face.
"Don't do this to yourself, Stark. It wasn't your fault. She left her family, she left her home, she left her friends, and she left you. And, it stressed her out, it wasn't your fault, please don't do this."
"I screamed...I screamed at her, I didn't...I shouldn't have-" he mumbled.
"It was out of anger. She knows that." She rubbed his arm gently, staring at the broken man before her.
"It wasn't her fault, Madison. It was mine. I said those things to her when I was the one who had killed my child. It was all on me." With his head hanged low, he moved away from Madison, and towards his car.
"Tony, where are you going?" She called out.
"Home."
YOU ARE READING
Evelyn • Tony Stark
Fanfiction❛❛I just don't want you to leave even though I gave you reasons to.❜❜ She grew up with him. She befriended him. She cared for him. She showed him what it felt like to be happy. She loved him. And he ruined her relentlessly...
