❛❛I just don't want you to leave
even though I gave you reasons
to.❜❜
She grew up with him.
She befriended him.
She cared for him.
She showed him what it felt like to be happy.
She loved him.
And he ruined her relentlessly...
Grief I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.
• • •
He was driving.
They were on the way.
That much he knew.
He swerved past all the other cars like a madman, paying absolutely no attention to red lights either.
The words were set on repeat in his brain in a never ending stream.
Car crash.
Accident.
Hospital.
Car crash.
He couldn't possibly even consider going through what he went through again.
"Stop the car." Evelyn sobbed, grabbing a hold of her seatbelt quickly.
His breathing was getting harsher, and he knew that it was happening again.
And there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop it this time.
Because it all had hit him again.
The doctors covering up his dead mother as he watched his father take his last breaths from the window of the hospital room.
With those thoughts swarming through his brain, before he knew it, his throat tightened, and his chest burned.
"Tony, stop the car." Evelyn begged, salty tears soaking her shirt as she begged him to stop.
He did so with no argument, stopping on the side of the road, and immediately getting out.
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"Tony," she cupped his face, and rubbed his hair soothingly.
"I can't....I can't breathe." He weakly let out, clutching his chest harshly, ready to rip his shirt any minute now.
"Look at me." She mumbled, and took ahold of his hand, placing it on her right cheek.
"Look at me baby."
Had she took her time to look into his eyes at this very moment, she would have a clear view of every little thing that haunted his past.
He lost his parents the same way.
He lost his parents in a car crash, and he was not about to lose them the same way too.
He couldn't lose Lucas, he just couldn't.
He wasn't ready to be without him.
"It's gonna be okay." She tried assuring the both of them, but even the words felt like lies coming out of her mouth.
Tony winced at her choice of words, and scrambled away from her, his pain turning into raw anger.
"Don't. Don't say that. Those are the exact words Lucas used when we were on our way to the hospital the day they died. You can't lose your parents Evelyn, and I can't lose mine. I can't lose mine. I can't...I can't..."
Shaking his head, he sought her comfort by crashing his rigid body into her fragile one.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he buried his face in her chest, and he breathed.
Nothing absolutely nothing prepared him for this, and he didn't want to face it.
He didn't want a recap of the pain he had felt back then.
He didn't want Evelyn to even know about it, let alone feel it.
He moved towards the car, and stopped Evelyn before she moved to the passenger's side.
"I love you. I love you, and I promise you that I will do absolutely anything in my power to make sure that they're alright. I promise."
And, Evelyn could only pray for her parents, and hope that her boyfriend keeps his promise.
Author's rant:
Sorry this chapter was kinda short, the story has only two chapters left, so I'll make it up to you guys.
