❛❛I just don't want you to leave
even though I gave you reasons
to.❜❜
She grew up with him.
She befriended him.
She cared for him.
She showed him what it felt like to be happy.
She loved him.
And he ruined her relentlessly...
You are the series of mistakes that had to happen for you to find you.
• • •
"Please tell me you had the baby, please. I don't care if you kept him or her away from me, I just need to know. Please, Evelyn. Tell me I have a child with you, tell me that I have a son or a daughter with a spitting image of you."
"I'm sorry.." she whispered.
"No. Oh, god, no."
A sound between a helpless sob, and a strangled cry came from him, shattering Evelyn's ability to speak for the moment.
She had never thought that he had wanted children, and to see him right now, so torn up, so deep in grief, did something to her.
It settled a guilty feeling inside of her, a feeling she shouldn't even feel.
His hands were roaming their way into his hair, frustration, confusion, despair, were all the emotions visible in his expression as he did so.
"What happened?"
"I couldn't, Tony. At first, I thought I couldn't keep the baby."
His eyes wore a gentle sense of agony, and for a fleeting second, she saw betrayal.
It moved so fast, she could have missed it because anger had replaced it almost as fast.
"You had an abortion?"
"Wha-"
"You killed your own child?! You killed our child, Evelyn?"
She knew he wasn't in the right state of mind, she knew that every word that would leave his mouth right now was not meant, but still, it didn't mean it didn't sting.
"I didn't kill my child!" She gritted her teeth, she wanted to tell him, she wanted to tell him that he was the reason for the loss of their unborn baby, but she knew, even in the depths of her anger, that those words would forever crush him, would forever haunt him for the rest of his days, and they wouldn't even be true.
And so she let him speak.
Even though it hurt her.
"Fuck. Why?" He was on his knees next to her now, and it was his eyes that killed her along with his next words.
"Was it so bad to have a part of me inside you?" He barely even chocked.
"I didn't-"
"Fucking hell, why?!" He screamed out, releasing the pain life had thrown his way.
She wanted to tell him so bad, but it would only just hurt him.
This was the very reason why she didn't want him back because she couldn't withhold such a secret from him, and now that she's told him, she wished she hadn't.
"Did I mean that little to you? Couldn't you have told me before you..."
He wanted to be a father.
That was the major conclusion she had obtained, aside from the fact that he thought that she killed their child.
He wanted to be a father so bad, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was indeed all her fault, after all it was for the most part.
"Fuck you, Evelyn. Fuck you, I hat-" he bit his tongue, and dropped his head down for a minute before snapping it up again, and getting up to his feet.
"You know what, you're right. You're right. God separated us for a reason, and it's about fucking time I learned to stop chasing someone who doesn't want to be chased. To stop begging someone to take me back when they don't even want me."
He turned to leave, and stopped abruptly, face towards her.
"And our child, my child, he suffered the consequences of your actions, of my actions, but what you did. I can never forgive you for that."
"And for once Evelyn, for once, I am not sorry that I hurt you."
With those being his last words, he rushed out of the room, almost as if being in the same room as her was suffocating him.
She hadn't realised she had been crying until Madison wiped a tear from the side of her face, and brought her into her arms.
"He doesn't know. He was speaking out of anger, he doesn't know what happened."
"I know." She whispered.
"Then why are you crying?" A lonely tear escaped Madison's eye, as she tried wiping her friend's tears away.
"Because it hurts." She sobbed, before standing up quickly, and heading for the window, where she watched him drive away like a maniac.
And then she realised, that she too needed to get some air.
She needed to get out of here.
"I have to go."
"Evelyn."
"Evelyn!"
Her friend called out to her, and yet she ignored her, and moved outside to where her driver was just about to leave.
"Colton."
"Miss...What happened Miss Ross?" His concern was genuine but she didn't want pity right now.
"Just drive."
"Where ma'am?"
"Anywhere."
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