Love Is A Bitch

Hallelujah

"So, you kept my deal?" Whitney asked, crossing her legs and putting her clipboard on her lap as she sat in her chair. I took my usual seat on the couch across from her chair and smiled.

"I had Ryan over twice, the first time we played cards and watched a movie and the second time I had him and Kenny over to play pool." I answered truthfully. I was just as surprised at myself as Whitney was. I could tell she was impressed from her expression and the way she had one eyebrow raised.

"And how is Sarah?" I sighed and ran one hand through my hair.

"Uh, we kind of had a fight, and she walked out. She's in the Bahamas with her friend Breezy right now, I think it was supposed to be a weekend trip but they decided to stay longer. She said she's coming back though." Whitney nodded.

"She sent me a text telling me about the fight."

"Dammit." I mumbled, embarrassed that Sarah felt the need to talk to my therapist for me.

"Alright, let's talk about Ryan then. How did it go just being friends? And how do you feel now?" I sighed,
preparing my lengthy answer.

"Just being friends was hard. I didn't like that part too well, I mean it's hard to win a card game when you're having intense fantasies about the person you're playing with. And it's hard to watch a movie with someone and not be feeling each other up, you know what I mean?" Whitney laughed a little and shook her head, but I continued. "I mean, being around him was great though. Frustrating, but great. And as for how I feel, I'm afraid that I may have gotten some feelings for him that are a little bit beyond friends-with-benefits type feelings."

"What do you mean by that, Brendon?"

"I mean, I love Ryan, not just for the sex, but for everything about him and the person he is." Whitney sighed.

"Well, that's... that's good and bad, Brendon. It's good because you're passionate about this man, and I can tell your feelings are genuine. The bad part of it is, you're a married man, and the person you're in love with isn't the one you're married to."

~

"How was therapy?" Ryan's thumbs were pressing into my neck and his palms were on my shoulders, and he was moving his thumbs in circles. He gave the best shoulder massages, he used to give me them after shows if I needed to wind down a bit. He was sitting on my kitchen counter, dangling his legs off the edge on either side of my body.

"Oh, it was alright I guess. Nothing spectacular."

"Mmm, you're stressed." Ryan could read me like a book, and I hated and loved it at the same time.

"I guess I am, Sarah should be home soon and I don't know what to tell her." Ryan leaned over and kissed my neck softly.

"The truth would be one option, but that could be messy."

"Exactly." I groaned, brushing Ryan's hands off me and turning to face him. "But I don't really want to think about that right now." I cupped Ryan's face with my hands and kissed him, nothing too fancy, not much tongue, but it was good. It left him blushing and a little breathless.

"I'm guessing your therapist told you to stop seeing me?" Ryan asked as I slid one hand between his thighs.

"Well, sort of. She said she doesn't recommend it," I smirked as I kept moving my hand upward, and Ryan inhaled and bit his lip, "But she also said do what makes me happy, because that's what matters in the end."

"I guess that's- ah..." Ryan's voice cracked and he didn't finish his sentence as I slid my hand underneath the elastic waistband on his sweatpants.

The last thing on both of our minds was my wife or my therapist's advice.