Hello,
I'm here again, thinking, wondering what did I do to deserve this? I mean, being left alone, being ignored, I'm always their second choice, just an option. When will I be their priority? am I not that important? Am I really a toxic person? Here I go, telling what's on my mind.
First, The person who I thought is my "Best Friend" ignored me. She said, "I forgot you because I don't really see you everyday". Tell me, is that really a low judgement to cut my friendship with her? Look, I cared and loved her seriously then this is what I get from her? I've been by her side when she's happy, sad and broken. I've been by her side, always. Now, I regret it. It's not worth it anymore, when I need her, when I need someone, when I'm doubting myself (I still do), when I'm asking myself if my life is really worth it, when I need a hug, when I'm broken inside and out. Where is she? She's there, not thinking, not worrying to me. It's really unfair, truly unfair. I loved her and I was happy when I'm with her, I thought she'll always be here by my side, but no, I was wrong.
Second, them.
I don't know, You forgot me too. You. Fucking. Forgot. Me. All. Of. You.
What did I do to deserve this? I cared to you guys, I gave my trust, my love, my time, almost all of me. You knew me, you knew my secrets, even the deepest. I'm always open to you. I'm always fucking open, but all of you guys thought that I'm just a fucking negative thinker, fuck you. I guess, you really don't know me, inside and out. You really don't understand me because when you do, this will not happen, this bullshit. I'm always telling you that I will always be by your side, that I won't leave all of you but you know, I have my limits and when you reach it, I'll dismiss you from my life. I thought, I can still understand you guys. I thought, I still can take it but fuck it, I can not anymore. It reached my limit, you guys did. I don't want you guys in my life anymore. Enough already, you guys are making me sad every fucking day. I can not take it anymore. I know, I cared and loved you guys from the bottom of my heart. And I'll say that I did everything for you guys and I think that's enough but you guys are still not contented, you're thirsty for everything. I know, this will be the best for us. Thank you for everything, thank you for the memories, laughters, tears, adventures, and mostly the lessons that you guys taught me, Thank you. I really don't want to say sorry, but this letter won't be complete if I won't say sorry. So, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything though. I'm sorry for the times that you guys are irritated because of me, I'm sorry for giving you headache. I'm sorry for all the wrong that I did, I really do. And I hope you guys get what you deserved.
Third, myself.
You're stronger than this, You're the second bravest woman I've met (first is your mom, iloveyou mama). You, you can make it. You can make your dreams come true. Yes, you can. Just always pray, always have time for yourself, think positive, everything will happen according to His plan and trust Him, always. Please, always choose to smile. Choose to ignore everything that will make you down, choose every thing that will make you happy, Choose to be happy, always. Hang on there, keep fighting, keep smiling. A piece of Advice, don't trust easily anymore and ignore will they think about you, it's not important. Lastly, Always love yourself. Always.
Lastly, Him.
I just want to thank You, for everything. these challenges, I know it will end. I know because I trust You. Please always guide me, my family, my friends and my ex-friends. Thank you God.
I'm sorry for every thing that I've done. I'm sorry for not obeying You, I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
Lastly, Please take care of my mom and my siblings always. Please take care of them. Thank You, for every thing.
