Sea Of Treason, Pirate's Bluff #1

Hesitation

Whitley

Bluff is everywhere. He's everything.

The island is so dark I can't see a thing. I can only feel. And what I feel is Bluff's lips on mine, his tongue... His hands on my back. In my hair.

We fall to the ground, course sand scraping against all exposed skin. He kisses my neck and I feel like I could die at how good it feels. How much I want more.

"Whitley," he moans in my ear. "I—"

Then suddenly the feeling is gone. He pulls back, his body hovering over me, and breathing heavily.

"Bluff?"

He presses his forehead to mine. "We should get some rest. It'll be light soon."

I glance behind him at the horizon which is still pitch black. No sign of the sun on its way. Is that an excuse? I sit up as he plops down on the sand next to me, working to catch his breath.

I want to ask him if I did something wrong. I want to ask him why he stopped. I want to throw myself onto him and not let him go.

But I don't.

Instead, I lay back down and stare up at the star scattered sky with unblinking eyes, working to calm my wound up body down and keep my frustration from overflowing. Eventually, I close my tired eyes and wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Bluff

My whole body is buzzing as I sit beside her, my mind spinning. I can't think straight.

I can't believe I did that—the kiss or stopping the kiss.

I thought that was it, me giving in. I thought it was over. But then as she kissed me, as she grasped at me, pulled me, like I was water and she was dying of thirst...

The words I almost said. I don't even know if they were true. But they sat on the edge of my tongue and somehow, I knew the second they were uttered it would be clasping the shackles around my wrist permanently. Whitely would hold the key and I can't let her have that much power.

I don't trust her. Not enough.

I press fists to my eyes and suppress a groan of frustration.

I could have her—right now. My whole body aches at that thought. She wouldn't tell me no. I could feel how much she wants me, how desperate she is—

And I was desperate too.

And if it was just that, just two bodies that wanted each other, it wouldn't be so hard. It feels stupid. Like why not just give in? I lost already anyway. How long can I really resist for?

And yet, I sit here, not moving. Knowing I disappointed her. That causes a new ache.

I do care about her. As much as I don't want to. As much as I don't want to admit it. Why does this connection with her have to be so heavy? So burdensome.

Why does it have to mean my own life or death?

I long for a different life. One without bribes and betrayals. One without a mother who doesn't know how to love. One without prophecies, and supernatural creatures or powers. One where I was a boy who liked a girl, and that was all there was to it.

I close my eyes and imagine myself in a bow tie and top hat, holding my hand out to Whitley in a pretty gown and pinned up hair. I nearly laugh out loud at that. Then I shake my head of the image and try again.

Me on a ship, sword at my hip and whitely with her hair wild and flowing in the wind, loose men's blouse and leather pants. That's more me. And more her, too. I let my mind go farther, thinking of all the things we could do with that much freedom. With no one to tell us no. No one to care. And no destruction waiting on the other side of the door.

Maybe one day we can have that. I don't know how. How could we defeat all our enemies? They're everywhere. Even fate itself seems against us.

Is there any way we can be together without it destroying us?

***Whoops. *hides* I didn't specifically plan for this part to happen, but I wrote the next scene and realized Bluff still has some emotional things to work out before he's really ready to let go, so I had him pull away again so we can see him work that part out further. Hope you don't hate it. lol  I promise I won't bait and switch the Whitley/Bluff ship again ;) Come back for the Friday chapter!***