The Walt Way

two o'clock: unbirthday

these chapters vary in length (aka be super short), so yeah. don't expect a seven page chapter anytime soon.

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two o'clock: unbirthday 

I was sure that after the shoe incident at the post office, Donovan would no longer want to be a part of my plan, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I “borrowed” my neighbors cat and told Lexi to read her history book to me. While it was certainly one of the most boring things I’d ever heard, I couldn’t complain because she was reading my homework to me. Doing my homework wasn’t something I was particularly keen on, so I was sure to do better on this test than the last.

I knew that Alice never fell in love with anyone during her trip to Wonderland, but I felt obligated to include her. At noon, though, Donovan showed up on my front steps. “What’s the plan today, Walt?”

“You’re actually going to help me?”

“I’ve already lost my dignity. What else do I have to lose?”

“I like your attitude. I’ve already picked a guy for today. His name is Remy and he’s a senior now.”

Donovan snapped his fingers. “He’s in my chemistry class.” He made a face, suggesting that he didn’t approve. “Really, him?”

“He has nice eyes. I would want my children to have those eyes.”

He shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat.”

“Anyways, I found out that he volunteers at the retirement home a couple of blocks over. And—”

“Hold on a second, Coralie. Where are you getting your information?”

My eyes widened. I was expecting his question, but I was hoping that he would be kind enough to not ask it.  I didn’t want to admit that I was a borderline insane stalker. If I told him, I would come off as obsessive and somewhat creepy—which, at times, I was—which was setting myself up from endless torment and mockery, and I couldn’t have that. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Seriously, Coralie, where?”

“I have my sources.” Thank you, Internet. “Moving on, I was thinking we could stop in on their monthly tea party.”

“‘Stop in?’ Coralie, are you planning on crashing someone’s tea party?”

“We’re not crashing. We’re just visiting.”

“Do they know about it?”

“It said ‘public welcome’ on the website!”

When I brought down my 10/6 hat for Donovan to put on, he was close to ripping it out of my hands and stomping on it until it was nothing but a dirty, smushed hat. “I’m not going in there with that on. It’ll give someone a heart attack, and I’m not having that on my conscience.”

“No one’s going to have a heart attack because you’re wearing this. If they do, it’ll be purely coincidence. If anything, they’ll think it’s charming.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you sure you know what charming means?”

“Oh, shut up.

I was a nervous but confident wreck on our way to the retirement home. I told myself that I would at least leave myself a shred of dignity when going through with this plan because if I didn’t end up with love, at least I would have what was left of my shattered pride. I didn’t want to wrecktheir party in case they didn’t survive to experience the next one, but I was sure they would understand once I told them I was doing it for love. I was confident because I had a foolproof pickup line that was sure to woo Remy.

“Is this an in-out sort of thing?” Donovan asked.

“It’ll take however long it’ll take Remy to fall in love with me.”

He whistled. “We’ll be in there forever.”

I punched his arm. “Quiet, you.”

After signing in at the front desk, we were lead to a spacious gathering room. For the most part, everyone was dressed in Sunday attire (that is, if you went to church, which I didn’t). I blended in quite nicely, but Donovan stuck out like a red rose among a bush of white ones. We took our seats at a table that was a couple of yards away from Remy, who was manning the dessert table. Donovan and I were acquainted with a two ladies named Edna, who sounded bitter whenever we mentioned her daughter, and Holly, who just wanted to see her granddaughter. Mr. Peters, the man who was in charge of watching them, told us that Holly’s granddaughter was stillborn and Holly was still in denial about it.

I wasn’t going to lie: I felt awkward. “Keep them company,” I whispered to Donovan. “I’m going to go talk to Remy.”

“Don’t be too long.”

I paid no attention to his wish. I was looking for a lover, not browsing for my next snack. I strutted over to the counter as assuredly and sexily as I could, but I was sure I looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk. I stretched my arm across the narrow strip of empty counter, which, in retrospect, was a mistake because he just busted it with a wet rag. It took all of me to maintain my composure because all I wanted to do was to wipe my arm off with a napkin.

When he turned around, he looked shocked to see me, or anyone for that matter, there. He glanced at my arm. “Uh, hey. It’s Coraline, right?”

“Coralie,” I corrected.

“Remy. Can I get you anything?”

I tapped my fingers on the counter, preparing myself for the pickup line of the century. “Well, you know, it is my unbirthday today.”

I could immediately tell that he was not impressed. An eyebrow was arched and he looked sort of confused. He offered me a smile, but it could do nothing to mend the rejection my beating heart had just experienced. “Oh,” he said. “Yeah. Mine too. Do you want something to eat for your”—he coughed—”unbirthday?”

“I’ll take one of those,” I muttered, pointing to a palmier cookie, “and a croissant. Two napkins, please.”

He handed me the treats and I sulked back to Donovan, who looked liked he was one baby picture away from committing homicide. “For you.” I set the croissant down in front of him.

“For me?”

“For you.”

“Let me guess. It didn’t go well.”

“I don’t think he appreciates me. Why am I so misunderstood?”

He ruffled my hair, knocking the black bow out of it. “I understand you, Coralie, and it takes a special kind of person to.”

“Wait. Did you just try to comfort me by complimenting yourself?”

“Depends. Did it work?”

I crossed my arms, trying to hide the smile that was creeping onto my face. “No.”

“Really? Because your face says otherwise.”

“I don’t like you.”

“Ditto. At least I’m not getting rejected left and right.”

“Two guys. Two. I still have plenty of Disney movies up my sleeve.”

“Are you disappiointed that Remy wasn’t your prince?”

I shrugged. “He’s not my cup of tea.”