Castiel Imagines

Fear

Not my fanart!

Warning: Angst, and fluff.

The world was corrupt, and there were multiple things to be afraid of, but nobody would've guessed what your fear was. It was irrational, and you thought it was stupid, but you couldn't tell anyone about it. Your fear was Castiel.

You weren't completely sure why you feared Castiel, you only refused to call him by his nickname, 'Cas'. You stayed away from him, most of the time, and you never put yourself in a situation where you would have to have a one-on-one conversation with him. That thought terrified you.

You avoided his gaze and you mumbled when you spoke to him. But, you only spoke to him if it was imperative and someone was dying. Other than that, you two were silent around each other.

Until Sam and Dean came up with a plan to get you to talk to each other. Alone. They made a piss poor excuse about going on a hunt and not needing either of you to come with, which resulted in a heated argument between you and Dean, but everything had eventually settled. Kind of. You went to sulk in your room and Castiel sat quietly in the library, wondering why you were so upset about it. He shrugged it off inhaled deeply. This was going to be awkward.

A few hours later, you finally came out of your room with a rumbling stomach, and made your way into the kitchen, attempting to pass by Castiel quickly without him noticing. That failed miserably. He stood up and made his way into the kitchen as well, like a puppy wanting to play. He even had the puppy dog eyes. You sighed and kept walking, knowing that he was following you into the kitchen.

You turned around and lifted your eyebrows. "Y-yes?" You stammered and he shrugged. You hated talking to him and looking at him because he terrified you. "Castiel."

He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. "Why don't you call me 'Cas' like Sam and Dean do?" He asked and your heart almost stopped. He was becoming suspicious and you couldn't do anything about it.

"I-I uh..." You didn't know what you were supposed to say. You couldn't just tell him that you were scared of him.

"Y/N. What is it? What's wrong?" He asked and you inhaled shakily.

"Do you want the truth? 'Cause you may not like it." You said and he nodded.

"Yes, Y/N. Tell me the truth. Please." He said and you exhaled, hoping that it would calm your nerves. It didn't.

"O-okay. I... I'm s-scared of y-you." You said, tears threatening to spill. Admitting your one and only fear to your fear was extremely terrifying.

He tilted his head with furrowed eyebrows and a hurt look in his eyes. "Why?" He asked, his eyes beginning to water.

"I-I don't know." You stated truthfully. "I just... It's why I won't call you by your nickname. I can't seem to get comfortable enough around you to call you that and to have a casual conversation around you." You said, sobbing as you spoke. You felt horrible. "I'm s-so s-sorry!" You cried as you fell to the ground with your face in your hands, crying harder than you had ever cried.

Castiel rushed over to you and held you. You shouldn't have felt comforted in that position, because you were scared of him, but you did. You held onto him like your life depended on it. You shook with sobs as he hushed you, rubbing your back softly.

"It's okay. I understand." Castiel said calmly as he rocked you back and forth.

"You do?" You asked quietly, your voice refusing to work properly from crying.

Castiel nodded and pulled away from you to look at you. "Yes. It hurts, it does, but I understand why you fear me."

"I'm so sorry. I must make you hate yourself because I'm scared of you." You said sulkily, knowing that you had probably ruined his life.

"That's not what upset me." He said and you looked up.

"Then what upset you?"

"I love you, Y/N. But if you're scared of me, that means that you don't love me back. That's what upset me." Cas said, tears streaming down his face.

You crushed him in a hug and cried with him. "I know that you know that I don't love you. Not yet. But, we can make this work. I would love you if I wasn't scared of you." You said as you stayed in his arms. You pulled away, only to smash your lips onto his. You cupped his face as you kissed him passionately, and he held onto your waist. You pulled away after a few minutes and held onto him. "If you wait for me, I will love you."

"I will." He said and you stayed with each other the entire time until Sam and Dean came back.

I know. You guys hate me. But, it's an update, and a crappy one at that. I'm sorry if I made you cry, but I'm on vacation and I had already started writing this like a week ago so I just decided to finish it. I love you guys! Stay beautiful!

-Ellie