THE PANSÉLINOS

CH1

Grace's POV

I can't believe it, I can't believe her. I wish this is just a dream, I wish this is just a dream.

I kept chanting it over and over again. I am standing in the mountain where me and my mother usually goes to whenever we bond, which is rare. I looked up at the sky to see the pansélino shining so full and bright.

My mom told me that if you believe in something and be persuasive about it a positive outcome may occcur. I believed her especially after she told me about the story of the young boy and the wolves. I believed that if you wish to the moon it will come true. The sun gives light in the morning and the moon gives light in the evening. I believe that these light gives a chance, a HOPE to everyone who is hopeless.

As I remember those rare times me and my mother had, I remember how RARE it truly is. I clutched the letter to myself and let the tears fall. I'm crying myself out, it hurts so much. So f**kin much. I re-read the letter over again.

Grace,

I'm sorry, I know that nothing I say can make our situation any better. I know I failed you, I hurt you and I know that I ruined your dreams. Dreams for me and your father to be married at the church, dreams for us to grow old together and for us to STAY together. I'm sorry but I can't do it anymore. I needed to leave, I need my own space. I don't know when will I be back, it may be next month, next year or maybe never. Knowing your father I know that he wouldn't let me off easily. I love you and your sister. I entrust her to you because I believe in you. Eversince you were a kid I saw a bright future for you and you've been independent enough and got very mature at a very young age. I'm sorry for leaving you and your sister behind. I wish that one day we can go back to our usual selves. I love you sweety so much. Remember don't be afraid to speak to the moon.

Wishing is unlimited but few are granted.

Mom

This place brings back a lot of memories, my mother first brought me here when I was six. It was during sunset. We watched as day became night and saw how the sun faded and the moon showed up. We will talk on how our day was. She told me the story. It was our first usual bonding. She was a lot closer to my younger sister, I always believed that if a woman had her first child everything is new to them, the baby will serve as a practice material for the following babies that will come to this world.

I loved my mother so much. The independent thing I only did that because I want to impress her, I want to show her that despite the failures she had like having me at the age of 18, there is still me, I am still with her and I am growing up as a good individual. That despite everything, she can still be proud because the daughter she had at a young age is the person who helped her.

Even though we weren't that close I loved her so much that I am willing to do anything that will please her, I will do anything just for her to give me attention.

So these situation that we are in right now, crushed all my hopes. Life is always been rough on me, but I didn't care cause I believed and I know that everything happens for a reason.

I stood up and wiped the tears off my face. I started walking back towards home. When I was there everything was a mess. I can see bottles of alcohol everywhere, cigarettes and a few broken vases.

"Hello!" I called out.
"Kylee? Dad? Is anybody home?" And still no answer.

"Grace?" I heard someone call my name. There is my aunt standing there with a broom in a hand. "Your sister Kylee went out after hearing the news, and your father went to his friend, you know him"

"Uhmmm yah I guess he deserve to have a little fun" don't get me wrong it's not like I want him to have fun while here we are suffering oursleves, but he is been through a lot. I know that she loves my mom more than anyone in this world. And I support every decision he makes.

I continued "Oh and by the way when did you arrived?" I asked her. Well she rarely goes here knowing that she is busy with her job and whenever she is on vacation she usually goes to my cousins house.

"Well I arrived yesterday and settled my clothes at your cousins house then the news came to me. Your sister called and told me. I was worried about you sweety" she said with sadness and pity in her eyes. Among all my aunts she is like a mother to me, more of a mother than my biological one and I admire everything that she does.

"Thank you so much aunt Mary, but you didn't  have to. You know I can handle pressures"

" I know sweety, We all know that you can go through it alone, but it's not actually bad to have someone to share your problems with. Remember that we are always here for you" she said and gave me a hug. A hug that says everything will be fine.

"Everything will be alright sweety" she voiced out like she just heard my thoughts.

"I hope so" I said and broke the hug. I gave her a smile. The smile I always give to people so they don't worry about me.

"I'll go upstairs now. Thank you Mary, you know for everything"

"Ok sweety you go and take a rest, I will be here and I'll clean this-"

"No... I mean, I can do it. I'll just go and change then I ca-"

"Sweety, sweety" she waved me off "It's alright, I insist, you need to rest. Oh and by the way I hope it's ok if I'll crash in the guest room?" She asked.

"Ofcourse. You didn't actually have to ask you know, our home is yours to. And thank you.. again"

"You're welcome sweety. Love you"

" love you too, goodnight"

"Good night sweety"

I made my way upstairs and when I reached my bedroom, I quickly opened it and flopped on the bed. As I try to relax I found it a little hard, harder than usual. The events from this morning came flashing back to me.

This Morning

I woke up at my usual time and started getting ready. I hummed John Legends 'All of me' while doing my usual routine and I continued to do so while cooking breakfast. Yes I cook our own breakfast, it's kind of a hassle though, it's not like we couldn't afford to hire a maid but my father always told us that growing up dependently will only teach us one thing and that is vulnerability. I believe him, and somehow the idea of someone doing things for me makes me feel like I'm a child who is incapable of anything.

It's already 8:00 in the morning and it felt weird, because usually my father would be up by now. I went to the fridge to get some milk when I saw a note posted on it.

It was already opened. I went upstairs and knocked on my parents room only to see my father with his face burried to his hands.

"Dad? Is everything alright?" He didn't answer

"Oh by the way I found a note posted on the fridge... by the way where is mom?" I continued. He looked up at me and I saw dark circles under his eyes.

"It's for you... the letter" he said. I got confused and started reading the letter.

Pain. That's all I felt, I can't move. The tears poured out. I wanted the ground to swallow me, I want this to be dream.

When I realized it wasn't I ran to the place where I know I can be at ease and there I cried and cried until there were no tears left.

End of flashback

I don't know but I wanted to cry, I want to let it all out but I can't there were no tears coming out, it's like there really is no tear left to cry. I guess even my eyes are tired. My body is tired. I am tired.

Hurt

Exhausted

Tired

Definitely tired.

~♤♡◇♧~

UNDER MAJOR EDITING!

sorry if it's kind of lame. I'll do my best.

LOVE.LOVE♡