I just had the worst sobbing fit I've ever had in my life.
Why?
I'm embarrassed to say.
But I'm gonna say it anyways.
I was watching The Imitation Game on Netflix.
Idk, it just hit me like a fucking truck. First I started crying when I saw the state Alan was in with the medication, and then when the happy music started playing and they were burning the papers with happy faces I stopped and I felt happy too because it looked like a happy ending. But then at the bottom of the screen it said that he killed himself and I fucking lost it.
I was wailing, I was screaming, and I was seconds away from passing out. After about half an hour, my bitch mom came in, tried to comfort me but just ended up laughing at me when I told her I was in hisyetia because of a movie. I then refused to tell her what movie it was.
I think is was because of how much I related and pitied Alan. He was gay, so I guess that just made me feel like even more shit about what happen to him.
And here's the thing, I had no idea who Alan Turing was before I watched it. I didn't know he killed himself. I didn't even recognize the name. So it hit me that much harder, and it caught me so off guard because I was reading the text at the bottom of the screen announcing that he killed himself while they were happily burning papers with their happy faces and happy music.
I'm shaking so I probably misspelled alot of things but I'm not gonna bother to edit it for now, so I'll just hope that autocorrect did me justice.
Update: this has been published for a few seconds so no one read this so I'm gonna add this: I physically can't smile. I just read a pretty funny joke, one that would normally make me laugh my brains out, but I couldnt even smile. I'm trying g to right now but my brain won't let me.
