to whom it may concern;

xx. { p o e t r y }

❛ inane ❜
— theme: friendship ; other
— published: july 18, 2018

tonight, you're on my mind again
as i replay all these memories inside my head
tonight, to myself i say over and over
"it's going to be alright"
tonight, i stare blankly at the wall
so unsure of what i'm feeling deep down
tonight, i try to ease the aching
that's ever present within my chest
tonight, i'm confused as to
what exactly is causing this pain

tonight, i couldn't really care less
if you're leaving...
...is what i want to say.
but if i do say that, then i would just be lying again, wouldn't i?

tonight, i couldn't really care less
if i'm lying straight to myself
if i'm lying straight to your face
because i don't wanna feel this pain inside
and i know it's selfish but
i never really wanted to care

but why did you have to care for me
the way you did?
why did you have to be kind to me
the way you were?
why did you have to be there for me
when almost nobody else was?
why did you have to support me
in the most inane things i ever did
when i felt like those things were never
even as significant as the things you did?
why did you have to tell me
that i'm worth so much to you
and that whatever i do is worth so much too?

i'm so sorry i could never tell you
what i truly felt
even though you were so honest and open
when it came to me
( and now you're leaving )
and now i'm trying to convince myself
that your departure is just another inanity
even though it's the complete opposite

i just hope you'll be happy in your new home
thank you for everything