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Dear Jimin
Last weekend was odd. Yes, I'm still at Namjoon's house and after what I had experienced I decide to stay. I'll just pretend to be an unstable crip who needs constant watch because I figured staying around the boys will help me get closer to the real murderer.
During the whole weekend Namjoon was at home. I mean, of course. It's his damn house. Every now and then Jungkook or Hoseok would come over to spend some time with me.
I mean, there's nothing different. It's just us like we always were. Our door was always open for the boys and they could visit us 24/7 which they unfortunately did way too often but that's not the point now.
I don't quite know how to explain it, Jimin. It is like they are forced to hang out with me. And they would always whisper secretly.
Or am I just paranoid?
However, I spent a shit ton of time with Namjoon. He acts the most normal amongst the five. He doesn't act like everything is fine. He is just as melancholic as me and this somehow calms me because all the others seem to take your death on the light shoulder.
And even though I trust Namjoon I can't forget Saturday night.
It was really late. Maybe around 3 am. We had dinner with everyone and they were gone a long while ago. He suddenly started to ask about the things I had discussed with the cops. As if he wanted to know what I already knew.
I asked him why he was so curious and I quote:
„I can't believe it was suicide. It won't get into my head. It must be homicide and how it seems we are on the same page, Yoongi. I want to find out who the real murderer is. Are you willing to help me?"
I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't want to trust and include him into my thoughts so soon.
He didn't mention the topic afterwards. But he was waiting for my answer.
And I decided to say ‚yes'.
What was there to loose? Namjoon is smart, he must know what he is talking about.
And even if he were the murderer it would be really dumb of him to tell me he was looking for the responsible one.
What if he really is the murderer, though..? The day it happened he wasn't at home when I came to pick up my stuff I forgot at his apartment. Was that a trick..? Or am I just overthinking?
I don't trust him hundred percent and probably never will. I won't tell him I'm keeping a diary just to stay on the safe side.
