In Your Own Words

18. SUBJECT: UPDATE ON PETER

to: cassandra.belford@baderu.com

from: weston.maguire@baderu.com

subject: Update on Peter

sent: March 20, 2017 at 8:40pm

Hey Cassie,

Pete's okay. It's a hard question to answer, but I'll get to it soon.

First of all, your book sounds incredible. I like knowing more about the characters, especially the one you're using me for. It's good to know that the emails have been helpful.

Sometimes I forget that this is a job. It feels like we're talking, you and me, outside of everything else. Your writing has become such a constant voice in my head, like one of Sky's playlists, just following me around campus.

I was sitting outside the library earlier today, waiting for Lena, and there were a couple of girls complaining about their boyfriends, loudly, and I couldn't help but think that if you were there you'd say something both funny and snarky.

You're really starting to fuck with my head a little, Cass. I can't see or think about things without connecting it back to something you've written to me about. I'm always left wondering what you'd say about everything.

It's pretty exhausting.

I even have these one-sided conversations with you in my head. I remember when Sky was in sixth grade and she was obsessed with a British boy band. She'd sit in her room and daydream about what she would ask them if they were there. She even practiced their responses. It's as if I'm an eleven-year-old kid and you're the boy band. That's pathetic, huh?

Whatever, let's talk about Peter.

He seems like he's been doing better. We haven't seen much of each other lately because he's getting to the library every day now to make sure he's finishing the semester as strong as possible. We're 99.9% sure he'll graduate, but he isn't taking any chances.

I finally ran into him this morning. I was eating at the kitchen counter and flipping through my textbook when he came in wearing the same clothes I'd seen him in last night.

"Have you been at the library this whole time?" I asked, a little surprised.

He smiled. "Yeah. I finished the assignment and I started doing the readings for my bio tutorial."

"Atta boy." I saluted him with my coffee mug.

He came over and poured himself a glass of orange juice and grabbed a muffin from the batch Lena had brought over a few days ago. They're filled with jam.

"So," I began. "Did you decide if you're going to come to the movie on Wednesday?" I asked.

"Yeah, probably. Did you decide if you're going to go to rookie camp?" he asked, taking a bite out of the muffin.

I swear to God, Buddha and all the Hindu ones, my eyes got so wide they probably could have fallen out of my skull.

I didn't say anything. I just sat there like a moron.

He laughed, then answered the question I hadn't asked: "Sky told me."

Fucking Skylar. I told her less than two days ago about the offers, and she'd promised not to say anything to mom. To be fair, I hadn't asked her not to tell Pete. I didn't think it was necessary---I had no idea the two of them were in contact outside of me.

"Listen, I didn't want to say anything until I knew what I wanted to do," I said, hoping he wasn't too pissed.

"Come on, Wes," Pete shook his head. "Enough with the tiptoeing. You didn't say anything because you thought it might upset me."