This is for you, Eli. I wish I had the heart, and the love, to give to you. I'm sorry I could never return what you tried to give. I would've, but I guess I'm a coward. And I guess all I wanted was that feeling, but too afraid to open up, and let go. I'm truly sorry.
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Where did I go,
What happened to me,
When did my heart turn cold,
How did I lose my soul,
Why can't I unclench,
I'm locked away,
Look at me,
I can't even risk pain,
I'm a coward,
I should have shame,
My past isn't to blame,
My choices are,
I don't know why,
But I carry a new scar,
I played with the wrong fire,
I'm lost,
Being idiotic,
Not knowing the cost,
The saddest part
Is to never know the good things,
The best parts of being brave,
I'm really just a slave,
A slave to fear,
And I'll never know what could've been,
You deserve better,
I just wish I would've ripped down my walls,
Come out of my dark domain,
Withstand my nervous pain,
And do the same,
The same you have done,
To care,
But the real me is gone,
No way to get back to my once-warm heart,
I know it's not fair,
But I swear I would've tried,
If I had the guts,
If I was truly worthy,
But I don't think I can find myself again,
And I don't think I deserve anything,
So I guess I'll hide in my corner,
Rot away,
And ponder about how I let my heart go,
How I let that love I once carried,
Slip out of my grasp,
How I let it all go,
Let it all pass..........
