Everyone left before 3 O'clock, which left me and Bo alone. My mom sat out on the deck on the phone with people she didn't really want to talk to, while we stayed in the living room and played around on the computer.
"So what did you say about that one website?" He asked, breaking the awkward silence.
"What? You Tube?" I replied with.
"Not sure... The one you told me about at my house." He replied with.
"Yeah. It was called YouTube."
"So... educate me!!"
"Okay!" I typed in the URL and the website popped up. There wasn't much to see, but there were some people that were having fun.
"What do you want me to do with this exactly?"
"Show off! You have talent if I've ever seen it. But i feel like I'm the only one that's seen it."
"And the only one that believes it..."
"What?!"
"You're the only person that thinks I'm talented."
"Don't you?"
"...."
"Bo?"
"No..."
"What?"
"I said no. No I don't."
"Why not??"
"Why should I if only one other person does."
"But that other person is me..."
"Does it matter?"
"I mean... I thought it did... I thought I did."
"Well of course you do. But if there's only one person supporting me through all of this then what's the point? Am I just gonna have one comment on every video that says 'You're doing great sweetie!!!!!!!'? Where is that going to get me?"
"Why are you acting so different? You're being kind of mean..."
"Me?! Why are you trying to make me put myself out there when you know I'm shy?"
"I'm not making you do anything! I just thought it would be a fun thing we could do together...."
"You just want me to do something for once to express myself. You're just like my parents! Can't I just live my life the way I want to? Bored and sad and awkward and out of the spotlight."
"Wow... Uh. Okay? I guess I haven't been helping with your sadness and boredom? You know, you make it sound like you don't have anyone in your life but you have a lot... you just don't realize it. I went years without talking to my best friend and now that I have you back you act like I'm not here for you..."
"Ugh. Why do girls always assume that the world is against them?"
"So you're a girl then. Because that's what you sound like right now. You don't have to post the video but you also don't have to snap at me like that."
"Did you thinkthat's what I meant? Pshh. No."
"Oh... oka-"
"No, no, no... it's the people that are against me. Not the world."
"You know what Bo? Maybe it's just you that's against you."
"Excuse me."
He got up and left the room and left me a ball of confusion in the office chair. He came back a few minutes later. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"My mom is picking me up... I need time to think."
"Okay... I'm so-"
"Don't."
My heart sank. I had never seen him like this, nor had I ever wanted to. I got up from the office chair and went and layed down on the couch. He sat next to me and lifted my head up so it was resting on his thigh. He slowly ran his finger through my hair but stopped when I let out a sigh.
"Is she on her way?"
"Yeah. She'll be here soon."
"Okay..." I sat u and layed against his side so i could feel closer to him. He had pissed me off but I hadn't been much better. I knew Bo wouldn't do anything too drastic pver this. But my brain was panicking. I can't lose him again.
I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his neck and a tear ran down my cheek. I pulled away and wiped it with my shirt collar. I sighed again. "I don't deserve love..."
"Hey... We all deserve love. Even on the days that we aren't our best."
"I suck"
"And my love will make you feel like you suck less."
"Then you have to let mine do that too." my parents have been dicks reecently...
"I promise I'll work on my self-esteem. I'm sorry I got mad. My parents have been dicks recently... I'll call you later?"
"Please..."
"Okay... My mom is here." He planted a kiss on my forehead and stoop up from the couch.
I looked at him as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and neared the front door. "Wait!" I jumped up and ran to him and attacked him with my hugs. I squeezed him tighter and he did the same, causing another tear fall from my eye.
He smiled at me as he opened the door and turned through it.
I sank into the office chair and let myself spin. Shit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short chapter. Dumb chapter. It'll get better. I just had to move it along somehow because like I said, I have no clue where this is going. I haven't had much inspiration this summer and it's sucked. My laptop is going to die. Love you guys <3
-P&B :x
